Voices of Fostering brought to you by National Fostering Group.
Everyone’s life takes a different path. As children and young people decisions can be made for us that shape our lives forever – whether for good or bad. As adults, we have the opportunity to make our own choices. And what we choose can have a positive impact on us and the world around us. Particularly if one of those choices is fostering. When you listen to the stories of children and young people whose lives have been touched by foster carers, you start to see the impact that fostering can have. When you decide to foster, it’s hard to imagine just how big a difference you could make. Not just to the young people you foster, but rippling out into countless other lives. Your choice to foster could transform the life chances of some of the most vulnerable people in society. In this podcast, you’ll hear young people who were fostered, birth children and foster carers talking openly and candidly about their experiences. You’ll get to understand why fostering can be simultaneously the most rewarding and the most challenging thing you’ll ever do and why embarking on this extraordinary journey changes people forever. If you’ve ever been curious about what it really means to foster, what difference it really makes, you’ll find the answers here.
What happens when someone who grew up in the care system decides to become a foster carer themselves? In this episode of Voices of Fostering, Helen sits down with Kerry — a foster carer of nearly five years whose own experience in care fuels her passion for helping children today.
Kerry opens up about the fears that nearly stopped her from applying — worries about being single, renting her home, and whether her care background would count against her. She shares the reality of the assessment process, the nerves of panel day, and the moment her first child arrived on her doorstep just before Christmas. From toddlers to teenagers to her current placement with two "very sassy girls," Kerry's story is one of resilience, empathy, and breaking down the stereotypes of who can be a foster carer.
Whether you're considering fostering yourself or simply want to hear an inspiring story of turning personal hardship into a lifetime of care, this episode is for you.
If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.
If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk
Welcome along to another episode of Voices of Fostering. Today, I'm delighted to be joined by one of our lovely foster carers. Welcome to the podcast, Kerry.
Kerry:
Hiya. Hello.
Helen:
Hi, Kerry. Thank you so much for joining us. Um, so Kerry, you say that fostering is your passion, and you really want to encourage others to, to do it. So tell me about why fostering is so important to you. Go, go right back to the beginning really, if you can.
Kerry:
Uh, originally, I wanted to adopt, and then I listened to some foster carers, and I was really encouraged and moved by them and their experiences. And so, um, also as well, I'm a child, um, who was in care myself, so that, I think, has been a driving factor
Helen:
Yeah. So was it something that maybe you, you always grew up thinking that you were going to do, or is it something that sort of gradually happened over time?
Kerry:
I have always looked after children in some way, like child minding, nannying, youth work, um, and then worked in a school as well with children who struggled to be in mainstream. So I guess it was kind of, yeah, something that was gonna be in S for really.
Helen:
Yeah. So four years now, you've been a foster cas- carer yourself. So tell us about how that journey began then. Was it just some initial conversations? Like how, how did it all happen?
Kerry:
So it's actually coming up five years. Oh,
Helen:
nearly five years. I
Kerry:
did. I told you wrong. I actually did… When you go back and you're like, "Oh, actually it's longer than what I thought." Yeah, yeah. Time flies when you're having fun, eh? Um, originally, I, I wasn't with NFA Southwest. I was with a company called AFC, and I was, um, when I was asking about which agencies, I always knew I wanted to work for an agency. I felt that I'd be more supported, personal choice. And a friend of mine told me about AFC, so I just called them up. I, it was, I would've done it years ago, but I was really worried that I'd be rejected because I was a single person, and I didn't feel like I fit the stereotype of you have to be, you know, Jack and Jill, married, in a house. I was in rented at the time, and all these factors I thought would be held against me. Um, but fortunately, it wasn't. And then I just had a chat. They were really lovely, and they were like, "Oh." And as well, being in care, I thought that would be a bit of a stigma and that I wouldn't be seen to be reliable or… But I, in, in, uh… Well, it turns out that the agency were like, "Do you have any more friends that wanna foster?"
Helen:
So yeah. Lots of things there. The, the things we talk about a lot on the podcast really, things that people rule themselves out for quite often. Mm-hmm. You had quite a few there, and none of them were problems, were they? So that must have been a real relief when you realized that you could do it.
Kerry:
Yeah. And- The, the biggest fear is rejection, isn't it? Yeah. And so I never approached. And, and also as well, it's really important that you have to have a spare room in your house, and realistically nowadays, people don't tend to have spare rooms. And so it meant that I did… I had to move house as well to have that spare room. And then once I'd started, that was it, I was gone, on my way, fostering. Um, but it is very much, um, I don't wanna be rejected. I really want to do this. And I guess it's like when you go to an interview in a job, but this is like more of a lifestyle.
Helen:
Yeah.
Kerry:
Really. You don't go home at the end of the day. Um, mm, it was, yeah, the biggest fear was rejection. Um, but fortunately, you know, it, I'm here five years later. Yeah. So
Helen:
tell us about the assessment process for you then. How did you find it, Kerry?
Kerry:
It was a lot. I was currently working at the time as well, so it was… It is tiring. Um, I would have to do my assessment at, it was around 6:00 at night. We were doing over Teams. I'm unsure whether that is the process still now, but it was around COVID time.
Helen:
Yeah.
Kerry:
Um, so it would be like a couple of hours, and it's actually really exhausting talking about yourself because people are so keen to, to talk about others, and, "How are you today?" and, "What are you doing?" and, "What did you have for lunch?" And, but it was very much they needed to get to know you. So yeah, it, it was exhausting, but it was very much worth it.
Helen:
Yeah. And then you headed towards your panel date. What was that like?
Kerry:
Oh, I was so scared. Yeah. I was, I was really, really scared. And, um, fortunately, I had a lovely, um, lady who was assessing me, and she was like, "You'll be fine. You'll be fine." And I'm thinking, "Well, I wouldn't have got this far if I was not gonna be fine, surely." And you're just, like, battling in your head as well as
then getting up at 7:
00 to go to work, and, like, just keep thinking about,"Am I actually going to do this?" Yeah. It was- Yeah … scary.
Helen:
And then when you found out you'd been approved, how did that feel, Kerry?
Kerry:
Oh, it's amazing. And then a year after you go to panel, uh, we've actually been through a couple panels, more panels than what usually because we had to transfer to a different agency, and it's always just as worrying, and I don't know why. I just get myself all worked up, and then afterwards I'm like,"Ugh, shouldn't even have worried." And they're really lovely. They are actually really lovely. They're not there to judge you. I was thinking, "Oh, my God. I'm gonna have to talk to, like, seven people. This is the biggest interview of my life right now." Um, but everyone is so nice and really welcoming.
Helen:
Yeah. So tell us about that first child or children or young people that came to live with you.
Kerry:
So, ugh, I was, went to panel, and then it was like, "Yep, you're through." And I'm like,"Okay, so when does this start? When does, when, when do I do it?" It's, you know, I wouldn't… In a job you go,"Okay, well, I'm ending on this date, and then I'm gonna start doing this." But it's- It doesn't really work like that. The timing's got to be right, and I kept asking the agency, like,"Well, when do I leave my job?" And they're like, "Well, ideally not until you have a child." And I'm like,"But I can't work my job and have a child as well." You can do that, but as a single person, I had to be there. Um, so, uh, it just happened quite naturally. I was, I was in a school, so I was on a Christmas break, and, um, then I got a call, and it was a little boy who was… Well, they said he was one, but he walked in the door, and he was walking. And I was like, "That's not a one-year-old." And they're like, "No." And, um, but, okay. And I was completely unprepared because I hadn't thought I was gonna… I didn't think I was gonna take on… So when you, you think about fostering, you have an idea of what age group that you're going to have, and he was a gorgeous little boy. He came on the 22nd of December, and it was only meant to be for a couple of days, and he ended up staying about three weeks. Um, and he, and that was it. I handed in my notice to work, and then, yeah, was looking after him. Um, whilst I had him, I was approached by the agency about a teenager. And I'm like, "Yeah, that's it. Teenager, that's my thing. That's how I roll. I'll have a teenager." And I was like, "Yeah, okay, sure. Why not?" We came from, like, nearly two, and now we're doing a teenager.
Helen:
Yeah. So-
Kerry:
And that is fostering for
Helen:
you. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, do you, would you say you do one specific type of fostering, or i- does it change a lot?
Kerry:
Now, because we have two beautiful children in place and they are a similar age, primary age, we have chosen to do primary age. Um, but that's just a personal choice. I personally am not into having babies, whereas I know people who love babies. Uh, but that's… We're not really set up for that. We're quite active, and we have dogs, so we like to go out. And we tried the toddlers again, or we visited the toddlers. Um, but yeah, we're choosing primary age.
Helen:
Lovely. So you're, you're nice and settled at the moment then, aren't you, with, with two children with you?
Kerry:
Well, you say settled. Um, we are very settled. Um, as settled as you can be with, um, two very sassy girls. Um, but we are looking to move 'cause we would like to, um, get a bigger house'cause we'll need an extra room, and then we'd like to foster another- Yeah … so another will come into our family.
Helen:
Oh, lovely. So what is it, Kerry, that, that motivates you to, to keep going?'Cause I imagine, you know, it can be quite difficult sometimes. There can be challenging times, times when you're like, "Oh, what do we do? What decision do we take?" You know, what is it that keeps you going?
Kerry:
Um, coffee. Um, no, I… And the, the girls are lovely. I think it's just nice, isn't it? Like, if, if this is what you want to do, it is a lifestyle and y- you do have to forgo some things, and you, um- You know, caring for children 24/7. Um, so I, I think it's just the, the passion that I have keeps me going
Helen:
for sure. Yeah. Absolutely. And I ima- imagine as well, Kerry, you know, all of our foster carers have great empathy, but I imagine someone like yourself who's… You've been in the care system yourself, you… It's almost like a deeper level of empathy and understanding that you have for these children, isn't it?
Kerry:
Yes, very much so. I found that that came to light, um, when I worked at the school I said about, um, there were a lot of children who were in care, and I was really intrigued, um, about them and got on with them well. And sometimes they had their tough days, and you just are like, "Oh, I get you. I get what you're going through." And it must be really tough for them because some were in foster homes, but some were in, you know, residential settings, and that must have been quite sad for them. So I think that was like a bit of a, a passion driver towards actually fostering, being like, "I can help." And that's why I did think, "Oh, I do the teens. I love these girls." Like, the girls are… The, the boys are really chilled, whereas the girls are, like, up and down rollercoaster, and I'm like, "Got you, girl." Um, we've all been there. Um, but y- yeah, it, it do- it definitely, definitely helps because they can never turn around and say, "You don't know what I'm feeling. You don't know how I feel." Because I don't know particularly how you feel in your body, but yeah, been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Helen:
Yeah. And you're, and you're turning your experiences into, into s- such positives, aren't you? You know, you're just really helping lots of other children, which must feel really satisfying for you.
Kerry:
Yeah, it's, it is rewarding. Very, very w- rewarding. But that's like a parent with their, like their child. It's rewarding, a grandparent, an aunt, an uncle, when you see children who are thriving, definitely. Yeah.
Helen:
Yeah. And how long do you imagine yourself doing this for, Kerry? Do you think you'll be- … a foster carer for a long time?
Kerry:
Well, I wish… I really, really wish that I had started y- a lot younger. Um- … I aim… We have a, a plan that we aim to hopefully retire, so keep going until we retire.
Helen:
Oh, wow. Amazing. Yeah. So you're gonna have loads and loads more children in your care, which is just fantastic. So thank you so much for speaking to us today, Kerry. It's been really, really lovely to hear your story. And, and best of luck with the future.
Kerry:
Thank you for having me. Thank you.
Helen:
Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group, and make this the year you foster.
