Voices of Fostering

Kathryn - Life as a Fostering Social Worker

• National Fostering Group • Season 5 • Episode 10

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In this episode of Voices of Fostering, host Helen sits down with Kathryn, a Supervising Social Worker at the National Fostering Group with an incredible 16 years of experience in the role.

Kathryn takes us through her remarkable career journey — from an unexpected turn away from teaching, to working as a house parent in children's units in the 1980s, to specializing in youth drug and alcohol services, and finally finding her calling in fostering support.

She shares candid, moving stories from her early days in residential care, the lessons that shaped her approach, and what it really means to support foster carers day to day.

The conversation also dives into parent-and-child fostering — a topic close to Kathryn's heart — exploring how foster families support parents (not just teenagers, but adults too) to build safe, healthy relationships with their children, and the training programs Kathryn helped pioneer that are still used today.

Whether you're considering becoming a foster carer or just want to understand the dedication behind the people who support fostering families, this episode offers a heartfelt, honest look at a career built on care.

If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.

If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk

You can also follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin and YouTube

Helen:

Welcome along to this episode of Voices of Fostering, where today I'm joined by one of our lovely team at the National Fostering Group. Uh, welcome to the podcast supervising social worker, Kathryn Bennet. Hello, Kathryn.

Kathryn:

Hello.

Helen:

Hello. Thank you so much for joining us. So Kathryn, you've been a supervising social worker for quite a long time, haven't you? Tell us about, uh, your career really, and, and what you did before you were doing this role.

Kathryn:

Wow. Right. Um, I've done this role for 16 years. Um, it's a long… I'll do it very quickly. I started in 1986, um, when I left uni, 'cause I wanted to be a, a primary school teacher, and it just wasn't right for me, and my lecturer said, "Social work is for you."

Helen:

Right.

Kathryn:

Okay. And it's the best advice she ever gave me. Um, so I started working for my local authority at first in different children's units. I was called a house parent those,

Helen:

that, that length of time ago-

Kathryn:

Yeah … not residential worker. Um, and from there I started, I then moved into working with prior to what were you- what were youth offending teams. They're not called, they weren't called that then. Um, and then they bec- I became a family support worker. I did a little bit of, um, leaving care, and then I specialized for many, many years is with young people, drugs and alcohol- Um, probably for about 14 years I think I did that. Um, with little bits, just the comments. I did a little bit of teenage pregnancy- Yeah … and a little bit of this. It was called that then. Obviously, this is a while ago. Um, and yeah, worked my way up, became, um, a manager of, um, a young person's drug and alcohol team with a, quite a big, um, team around me, completely multi-agency. And then I had, um, don't know if it was a epiphany, I don't know, I decided that I'd had, I'd ha- I'd done my time.

Helen:

Yeah.

Kathryn:

Um, and, um, somebody advised that all my skills would be, um, could be utilized as a supervising social worker. Um, and I saw the advert literally within weeks of, um, that person telling me that for NFA. Um, spoke to, rang up the number and spoke to the manager at the time, and who said, "Yeah, I think you need to apply."

Helen:

Yeah.

Kathryn:

Um, and I did. And that was in, I was… I want to say I was interviewed in November 2009, and I started in February 1, 2010.

Helen:

Yeah. And you haven't looked back. So that

Kathryn:

was very brief.

Helen:

Yeah. So you said there at the, at the beginning, um, Kathryn, that your lecturer said that they thought social work was for you. What do you think it was that they saw in you that they thought would make a good social worker? I,

Kathryn:

it's quite bizarre,'cause I've been in one of the schools now with, um, in this role. Um, I'd done a teaching prac placement in Bootle in a, in a primary school, 'cause I was m- quite interested in what was called then top juniors, top, um, year, which is now, um, four, five and six. Yeah. And I really enjoyed it. I, the children were interactive and I really liked- The way they were and, um, and then they put me in a school, um, a very small village school. Very nice, very… And literally the children were really nice to me. It's the only way to- I can describe it. Um, and I just felt this, this, this isn't for me. And she sat me down and I had to go through why I liked the school in Bootle. Um, and one of my, uh, sixes, um, some of the high school had walked past, gone in, and tried to steal a coat. So she'd given what for basically, and told them that they weren't taking her coat at age 11, and she was just a character. And their, their lives were so different from my home life.

Helen:

Yeah.

Kathryn:

Um, like, you know, I had a very caring, nurturing upbring- upbringing. Um, very different 'cause my granddad was my child's minder. So a very different upbringing in the '60s and '70s that most people were used to.'Cause I, um, yeah, it's usually not a male who's your child minder- Yeah but mine was. Um, so I was quite shocked at how these children lived, their background. The swearing was a completely… Yeah, they, yeah, I won't use the words they used me at age five, but they were quite… I wasn't used to being told how tired they were in quite distinct language.

Helen:

Yeah.

Kathryn:

Um, and then I went to this other, to this other school, which was a really nice school. And like I say, we have actually had a young person in that school since being in this role. Um- And the needs of the children were different to those, the needs in that school in Bootle. Um, and that it was from talking to that lecturer, she said, "It's social work

Helen:

for you. That, that's what your, that's what your, your skills are."

Kathryn:

Um, and she gave me a, she advised me to write to my local authority, which I did. And it luckily landed on the desk of a man called Jeff, who'd actually done exactly the same thing as me, who… And he understood how I felt. Um, rang me up. I went in and I did voluntary work at first with the local authority. W- well, you had to be, I said, "Please check them," but you had to be checked. Um, so I worked in children's units, and then they offered me, somebody went on long-term sick and they said since I had been checked, I'd been working, could I step into the role? And I did in August. I know 'cause it's on my, it's on my pension. August the 26th, 20- uh, '86 is when I started for that local authority. And, and that was it. It just, yeah, opened another world to me.

Helen:

So you just felt really drawn, Kathryn, to, to working with children who were from more challenging upbringings really, more challenging backgrounds?

Kathryn:

Completely, yeah. Um, for me, they, I don't know how to put it right, well, they had character. They, they, they, they were resilient. They, um, would taunt you. They'd express themselves, and you could see that they had trauma and were dealing, obviously this is the late '80s, early '90s, but they were trying to deal with it themselves and, um, especially in the children's unit, you know. Um, I mean, nowadays it'd be smart 'cause they shared bedrooms. We'd, we'd put complete straight girls… Obviously it was, it was, uh, it was to one gender each, each unit, each bedroom, but they would share. Um, none of the safeguarding risks that we're aware of now. Um, and you would s- but it was their, how they spoke to you and how they… You could listen to them, and they, they, they'd… Some of them wouldn't listen to you, which is fair enough, but the, the how they spoke and expressed themselves. And were grateful sometimes just to be away and just to be safe, and for somebody to listen to them. That, that's what I'm probably saying is that they wanted somebody to listen to them-

Helen:

Yeah

Kathryn:

'cause nobody had for whatever reason. Um- A- and just give them that support and that nurture that some of them had, but not quite in the ways that they should. And I learned so much. Um, s- I had really good, um, mentors,'cause I was only 21 at the time, and had really… How one young lad, you know, you'd buy him Chris- on Christmas Day, he had presents. By Christmas night they'd smashed them all because they didn't want somebody to take them off him. Yeah. So they'd, they'd break them or smash them so you couldn't hurt them. You couldn't take those things off them that they valued, 'cause that's what they were used to, so they would break it themselves. Um, and that was just an eye-opener to me to be t- to be taught that and to work with them, that they didn't have to. We could care for the- their toys or their clothes. They didn't have to be broken, um, so that they were theirs. Yeah. And, and it was the first time I learned about, um, bin bags. Don't send a child home with a bin bag, um, 'cause they would come in with bin bags. And I can remember distinctly they had, they had no wardrobes, but they had a, a shelf in different u- in different rooms. Um, and when they moved on, we had to buy suitcases for them. They weren't allowed to move out. And that- That's 1986, '87, '88. So even then, children were c- were, were being brought… Their life was in a bin bag, which, what did it say about them?

Helen:

Yeah.

Kathryn:

I always stuck with me learning that so young, that if they think that their belongings are in a bin bag, what does that mean to them?

Helen:

Yeah.

Kathryn:

That's, that's their life.

Helen:

So your whole working life now, Kathryn, has been, you know, helping and supporting children and young people, and you say you've been with the National Fostering Group as a supervising social worker- Yeah for 16 years. I know. So tell us about, so tell us about what a supervising social worker does.

Kathryn:

Wow. Um, it's… For me, it's support and advice, that you are there for the soc- for the foster carer. Um, from us, yeah, from I go from the training, um, to assessments, to talking to potential foster carers who want to be, giving that handhold, and just using your experience, but also using the other foster carers' experience, linking them in. So, um, I'm… Obviously, we offer really… For me, we offer really good support compared to the local authority where I came from. Um, that they can be supported, they're given advice, they're, you know, anything they need, we're there to help them if they're struggling. But also that we've also formulated a self-help group with, with themselves, with the carers. Sometimes they wanna hear it from somebody who's been there, who's done that, and I've not. I'm, I'm always on the outside looking in. I can give you all the experience. I've worked with hundreds of young people, and I can give you my advice, but I've never lived, you know, I lived with the children millions of years ago, not recently. Um, so that's, that's my role, is to support them in meetings, support them with the children's behavior, support them with, um, their training, their knowledge, to expand their skills, develop their knowledge, um- To, to be able to support any young person that, that comes into their home. Oh, I see that as my role.

Helen:

Yeah. And you're also quite passionate as well, Kathryn, aren't you, about not just having children and young people in foster families, but parents with their children? So tell us about that. Yeah.

Kathryn:

It was one of the things I, when I first came over, I was asked to do, 'cause I'd done some work with teenage pregnancy. Um, and we worked really hard on it at the time and we, me and the trainer at the time, we had meetings and we devised a training plan. Um, it's about… We… And when we say parents, we don't actually s- mean teenagers. Um- Yeah … we mean parents. And the oldest parent I've had in is 33.

Helen:

Um- Yeah, this is really interesting, Kathryn,'cause I think initially I thought that, you know, we've talked before on the podcast about, you know, y- sort of teenagers who've become pregnant, and then they want to keep the child with them, and they go and live in a foster family. But a lot of the time it can be older people as well, can't it?

Kathryn:

Yeah. It, they, it's, it's to… And we say parents 'cause we can have fathers. Yeah. We don't say mum and baby, it's parents, because I've had a couple as well. Um, I've had a mum, a mum, a p- a mum and a dad in placement with their child, and I know people have had just fathers in. It's to rather than bring a chi- a baby into care or a child, 'cause I've had toddlers, um, or siblings, rather than… And then they, they, parents are observed in family centers. Bring them into a safe place. So the foster carer, um, y- they live in your home. And I remember the very first time a carer really struggled 'cause she like, I always remember saying, "I want to watch Coronation Street," and the parent wants to sit with me, and she wasn't… So, but luckily she did have two rooms and we could sort, we could sort that out. And then after that she, she, she flew. I can't tell you, she's had so many parent-child placements since then. Um, but it's about offering them, giving them guidance, giving them support. Sometimes the child is in the parent's room, and we would recommend at those times with, with local authority and signing paperwork, that there is a baby cam on, only over the cot. Not on the room, it's just on the cot. Or the baby can actually be in your room, and you, you'd wake up at night if, and you would wake up the parent to feed the child. So it's just for safety. And after a while, the, the child then moves into… Once we know the risks, um, sometimes we're well aware of them at beginning, sometimes we're not Um, but the older placements tend to be more successful than the teenagers'cause the older parent knows this is their chance to get it right. Yeah. Um, they might have had a child taken off them previously, and they, they… this is the reason why, um, they've been brought into lo- and the, the parent's not in care, it's the child that's in care. And there's strict, you know, boundaries around it. You know, who does what, who does this, how much you c- who spends, who does that. Um, so at the placement meeting it's very i- itemized what you can do, um, who does what. Is the parent allowed to leave the house with the child?'Cause sometimes they're not unless they're supervised, and sometimes they're quite happily. So it always depends what everyone is an individual placement. Um, sometimes they work out really, really well. Yeah. And I've had quite a lot of parents move home, and I know they're still at home'cause they're in contact with my carers. And sadly, when it's not to be, um, m- my carer's attitude, all of them, it was that at least they've given that time, that parent's had time with the child. And we can write about that, that you did live with your, your mum or your dad for a while, and this is what, and whatever reason. And then usually the carers support that child then to adoption, um, or to a family member, which we've had a few to either go to a family member or they're adopted. So- But yeah, um, I had quite a big team over the years it seems to. The, the… It's something y- you either like or you don't. My carers liked it 'cause there's always an ending. With a par- and e- especially an adult, there will be an ending. If they don't want to foster for, for long term or for whatever, they know that there will be a time limit to that, and they can have a time, a con- you can have a break in between each placement. Um, so yeah, that is, was something I really championed at the beginning. Um, and I do smile 'cause I do see paperwork now, and I laugh 'cause I know I wrote that 15 years ago. Am I still… And I see it in things, go, "Oh, me and the ca- me and the trainer wrote that."

Helen:

So it's still being used.

Kathryn:

Yeah. People a- won't have a clue where it came from. They won't realize it came 15 years ago when me and the trainer at the time sat down in the office and wrote it, um, a checklist, who did what, who did this, who did that. Um, so, um, yeah, that, that's still nice to see that some of the work's still being, uh, being done. I mean, the training has completely changed. It's a two-day. It went from two days to one day and, and, um, but it's something that I really think we promoted, and the local authorities, um, used it because they knew, like you say, they knew the, the child was safe, and they could get a more realistic view on the parents' skills. And, and could they to be dev- to be developed? Could they be- Yeah … enhanced? Or sadly-

Helen:

Mm-hmm… Kathryn: you know, did they have a or there was a safeguarding need. Um, and it was something that the carers could, um, highlight. And I've had my carer's notes u- used in courts as well. They're not the, um, the template is very… It's not that we expect you to write. We give you a template, so it's quite easy to follow. You know, it's not as if you think,"Oh, I'm… What do I write?" The template's there, you follow it. Yeah. It's, it's, so we're asking you questions all the time. Um, and, um, yeah, and I've just buddied up one of my parent child carer with somebody who's interested in doing it. Oh, brilliant. So

Kathryn:

that's, yeah.

Helen:

Well, it sounds like you've had such a positive impact on so many people over the years, and it's really good to, to, to chat to, to people like you, Kathryn, because it helps people to understand that when they go into their fostering journey, the people that support them, they really care.'Cause you can tell that, you know, this isn't just a job to you, is it? No, it's not. It's… Yeah, yeah. You really, really care. So what would you say, um… I don't know. As- what's my question really? I suppose my question is what does it mean to you really if you were to sum it up? Oh.

Kathryn:

Um, it's about giving the best chances to the young people out there. That's what foster carers do. They ga- give them the best chance to As normal, don't like that word. A- as, as life as they can, uh, in a safe and caring place, you know? And that's what they do. It's… You take the little rewards as big rewards. That's something we have to remind carers that the, you know, little rewards mean a lot. A smile, a thank you can mean absolutely everything. So that's what it means. It's about giving young people another life that they might have not had, um, with the nurture and support that they need to fulfill whatever their potential is, whatever that might be. Whether it be just the fact that they go to school and we get more attendance than they've ever had, or they learn to read,'cause we have some children who've not… who can't read or write or, you know, and they learn skills. Learn how to wash their hair. I had a child who didn't know how to wash their hair. They'd never… So it's simple little things like that that foster carers do. They, they improve a young person's life.

Helen:

Well, it's been so lovely to chat to you, Kathryn, and anybody listening or watching now who's thinking about, you know, getting on that fostering journey, the type of people that you're gonna meet that are gonna support you are, like, lovely Kathryns. So thank you so, so much. And, uh, yeah, best of luck with the next 16 years.

Kathryn:

Probably not.

Helen:

We'll see. Thanks so much, Kathryn.

Kathryn:

You're welcome.

Helen:

Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster.