Voices of Fostering

Annette - Making Home Again

• National Fostering Group • Season 5 • Episode 1

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After losing her husband Keith to cancer, Annette found herself in a home that felt hollow — until she made one phone call that changed everything.

In this episode of Voices of Fostering, Helen sits down with Annette, a brand-new foster carer just three months into her journey. Annette shares how grief led her to fostering, what the assessment process was really like, and how welcoming a 14-year-old into her home has brought joy, laughter, and purpose back into her life.

In this episode:
💔 How Annette found fostering after bereavement
📋 What the assessment and Skills to Foster training involved
🌟 Life three months in — the highs, the challenges, and a holiday on the horizon
👨‍👩‍👧 How Annette's sister's experience as a Special Guardian inspired her
💬 Her message to anyone who feels lost and is considering fostering

Whether you're thinking about fostering or simply need a reminder that it's never too late to open your heart and your home — this episode is for you.

If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.

If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk

You can also follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin and YouTube

Helen:

Welcome along to this edition of Voices of Fostering, and today I am delighted to be joined by Annette. Hello, Annette.

Annette:

Hello,

Helen:

uh, thanks so much for joining us. Annette, it's lovely to have you on the podcast. And I know that you really want to inspire people, don't you today, and you want to share your story, um, to, to inspire others really, to do the same.

Annette:

Yeah, it's been fantastic.

Helen:

Oh, fantastic. Well, let's do that then. Let's start at the very beginning of your story.'cause I think a lot of people move into fostering where maybe their life changes a little bit. There were a little bit of a crossroads, and unfortunately for you, your, your husband passed away a couple of years ago, didn't he? Yeah. So tell us about that and then how you decided to, uh, to apply to be a foster carer.

Annette:

So I lost my husband to cancer, yeah, June, 2025. And me, my home was empty and I found emptying myself and didn't know what to do with myself. And I had family members that had fostered and was involved with them. And then, um, I thought to myself, what can I do to fill this empty space?

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

And what better reason than I thought about fostering. And, uh, from then on, I, I saw an adv on social media and, and made the call. Yeah. And started from there.

Helen:

And obviously you were still quite fresh in your grief. I would imagine at that point, Annette, did you feel like it was the right time, though? Like you didn't really want to wait, you just, you just wanted to, to move forward and, and become a foster carer?

Annette:

It was almost exactly 12 months to when I'd lost Keith and, um, I was, I was just empty and I, when I'm used to having children around. And, and keeping myself together all the time. Just come to me to, you know, make me home, home again.

Helen:

Yeah. So tell us about the, the assessment process then. What was that like for you?

Annette:

Right. So, um, from start off to phone and to uh, uh, find out about all the information about fostering, um, it was just a simple phone call. And then they got my care through, um, rang me back not long after. And, uh, she came out to see me and went through all the process of checking the bedrooms and, and making sure everything was safe and secure and for the child who, whatever was that being child children. And, uh, it all went smoothly. Very nice to, to have met, met them all.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

Um, and then from there really just went to doing, um, uh, courses to make it more information for myself to know. More experience by doing the courses.

Helen:

Yeah. So did you do skills to foster?

Annette:

Yeah, we did The skills to foster, I've done,

Helen:

how did you find that?

Annette:

Very interesting. Very interesting. So it's, we did two, two sessions online and then we went one to the classroom. And so you meet other people, other foster carers as well. Some that, some of the new recruits, some have been doing it for years, which is great 'cause you get their experience. Uh, just amazing. It's been amazing

Helen:

and obviously there's a lot of questions and there's a lot of, um, you know, the assessment can be a little bit intrusive sometimes. How did you find that? Quite a lot of the time people say it's quite cathartic experience. What, what was it like for you? It,

Annette:

it's very intrusive because they want to know about your whole family experience, your family, their families. Um, all the information you can possibly give them really, which is very understandable because you need to know all the background of everybody that's got to be involved in the fostering process.'cause it's not just myself, it's the whole family. But I found it great. I enjoyed the journey.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

Um, and, and just. I got addicted to doing closet.

Helen:

Yeah, you

Annette:

can learn so much, much,

Helen:

can't you? Yeah.

Annette:

I've never learned so much in my life.

Helen:

So you,

Annette:

but I've enjoyed it. It's been interesting.

Helen:

Yeah. You definitely feel well equipped now. And I understand you've had a child with you now for three months, is that right?

Annette:

Yeah.

Helen:

Yeah. So you're really at the start of your journey, aren't you?

Annette:

Absolutely amazing.

Helen:

Oh, brilliant. So how's it been?

Annette:

Absolutely fantastic. I think I've been blessed myself. Oh. Um, she's uh, she's been amazing. So she's a 14-year-old and quite, quite independent.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

I've had no problems up to now. Uh, and we really get on, so, uh, we talk to each other, we go out for meals. It's been amazing.

Helen:

Oh, brilliant. What was it like when they first arrived three months ago? Can you remember? How did you feel?

Annette:

So when she first, when I first met her, she came to my house and we, and it was kind of a bit off, straight away, really talking it. It was very strange. Uh, we smiled at each other and said what we liked and what she liked and what hobbies she might have, what food she didn't like, you know? Yeah. And everything like that. Um, she's. Just a lovely person.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

I've just, I've just been so lucky, I think.

Helen:

And what sort of fostering is that at the moment? Are you expecting to have her longer term or is she a short term?

Annette:

Well, long term, yeah. So I won until she's 18.

Helen:

Wow.

Annette:

Yeah.

Helen:

So

Annette:

I, I could always, possibly have a baby as well.

Helen:

Right. Okay.

Annette:

But that's not come, come yet, but I hope it does.

Helen:

Yeah. So you are open to having more than one child or young person in your home. Yeah.

Annette:

Yeah. Unfortunately, I've only got a one bedroom bungalow. Got two bedroom bungalow. So one room for a foster child. Yeah. But I could then add the baby up to 18 months.

Helen:

Right. Okay.

Annette:

And then off and after she moves on, obviously when she's 18 or whenever she decides to go. Yeah, it's entirely up to work. Um, I will carry on Foster.

Helen:

Right. Okay. And what, what's everyday life like for you now then, Annette? What's the typical day like? So,

Annette:

um, busy, which I love because I could never keep still before, so I have to run into school every morning. Because she's not from my area. She's out out to the area.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

Um, which is fine. Um, we, she goes out with her friends three times a week, stays out a couple of times, uh, that I've had her friends over, uh, for meals and stay over. It's great. It's great. Oh, booked a holiday.

Helen:

Oh, really? I

Annette:

can't wait to, on a first holiday.

Helen:

Oh, that'll be so good for her, won't it? Yeah.

Annette:

Yeah.

Helen:

And what do you imagine for, for the future then, Annette? You know, you said you, you are open to other children coming to live with you as well. Do you imagine doing this for quite a long time?

Annette:

Oh, yes. Yeah, definitely. I, I'd wanna carry on, I'd like different ages as well.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

I wasn't expecting a teenager.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

I, I opted for five to 11.

Helen:

Oh, right. Okay.

Annette:

So I had several, um, people referrals.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

This one was the best one for me.

Helen:

Yeah. Wonderful. Um,

Annette:

I went with it and it's been amazing. Really

Helen:

nice. Well, yeah, really nice. It sounds like it's been such a rewarding, uh, experience for you, Annette, you know, in the, in the wake of everything that's happened to you and, and losing your husband. What, what do you think Keith would be thinking now? Do you think he'd be really proud of you?

Annette:

He'd be super proud, sick, proud, and he would've loved her. Um, she, she would've loved him because of his character and his funness. Uh, absolutely great.

Helen:

Oh, it's so lovely to hear that you're having such a positive experience. Yeah. And I know you really want to inspire others, don't you, to do the same. So if there was anybody maybe who was in a similar situation to you, you know, maybe they've been widowed, as you say, you, you felt lonely. You, you felt an emptiness within you and, and you feel like fostering has really, really helped with that. Yeah. How would you encourage someone in a similar situation to you to, to go for it?'cause it is quite a daunting thing to do, isn't it?

Annette:

Yeah. I've, yeah. Definitely daunting but worth it. I would, um, talk to them and tell 'em about my experience. Yeah. Which I have with quite a few people now, and explain to 'em what the process is. And it is intrusive, but worth it. And ju just explain to 'em, oh, why not give it a go? If you're feeling so empty, you just lose your life. You just, life changes.

Helen:

Yeah. And so far the best in the last three months of, of having, um, the, you know, the 14-year-old, the young, young lady come and stay with you. What have been your highlights so far? Has anything stood out?

Annette:

Um,

Helen:

I imagine your upcoming holiday will be one, won't it?

Annette:

Yeah, that's one. And we're going to another, uh, scary mo scary scene thing coming up. So it's trying to organize things to get to out and about

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

In the area and, and meet other people as well. Every day's a challenge.

Helen:

Yeah. But it's definitely worth it.

Annette:

Yeah, it's definitely worth it. I feel as though I've had it for longer than three months. Aw. In a good way.

Helen:

Yeah,

Annette:

because she settled straight away.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

And yeah, we, we hit it off and I think I've been lucky as well. Yeah. Um, and, and we can just talk to each other, which is lovely.

Helen:

And how do you find, if you do have any issues, Annette, or you need any support, you know, what's that like? Is there always somebody on the end of the phone?

Annette:

Yeah, absolutely. So I have me, my SS worker, support worker, worker, I could phone NFA anytime, the office, any of them. I've got a buddy who can phone who's been fostering for years. Uh, there's always somebody at the end of the phone, twenty four seven other foster carers. I've got my sister, who's now an SDO and, and me. I've got good neighbors are all around me to talk to, and I, I just love every minute of it.

Helen:

So you say your

Annette:

sister is

Helen:

an SDO. Can you just describe what SS an SGO? So, yes. So can you just tell us what that is?

Annette:

So that's a. So she's not a foster carer such now? Yeah. She's a special guardian.

Helen:

Right. Okay.

Annette:

So she's taken on three boys.

Helen:

Oh, wow.

Annette:

So she doesn't have the involvement of social workers as such now. Yeah. Just when it's contacts and that.

Helen:

Yeah.

Annette:

Yeah.

Helen:

Wonderful. So you've got loads of support around you having a unit. It, it sounds like you're having such a great experience, Annette, and I'm so, so pleased for you.

Annette:

Yeah, it's absolutely amazing.

Helen:

You are only three months in. Hopefully you'll check back in with us and let us know how you're doing. Yeah. A little further along the line. But thank you so much for joining us today, Annette, and uh, best of luck with everything.

Annette:

Thank you. You're welcome.

Helen:

Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster.