Voices of Fostering

Susan - The Rewards of Respite Fostering

• National Fostering Group • Season 4 • Episode 26

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Join us for our latest episode of "Voices of Fostering" as we catch up with Susan, a dedicated foster carer with 18 years of experience. In this candid conversation, Susan shares her journey into fostering, the joys and challenges of short-term and respite care, and the meaningful connections she’s built with children and young people over the years.

Discover how Susan’s personal story led her to make a difference in the lives of so many, and hear her advice for anyone considering fostering. Whether you’re curious about the fostering process, looking for inspiration, or simply want to hear uplifting stories of resilience and hope, this episode is for you.

If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.

If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk

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Helen:

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Voices of Fostering. It's wonderful to have you with us. And I would like to welcome to the podcast today, uh, Susan. Hello, Susan. Hello. Hello. So, Susan, you have been on our podcast before. I chatted to you about a year ago, didn't I? Um, so how, how has your year been? You've been quite busy, haven't you? I've

Susan:

been very busy. I've had lots of amazing children. Um. That have stayed with me none for a particularly long time, um, because I'm doing respite, emergency bridging, fostering, um, that sort of thing. Um, but yeah, loads, loads of young people and, and children. I think the youngest I've had is seven. And the eldest is 17. So a good range, really. Yeah.

Helen:

Yeah, yeah. So just remind us, Susan, um, about your journey into fostering really, you've been fostering for 18 years, is that right? So what led you to it?

Susan:

Personal reasons. Um, I needed, um, to occupy myself. At home because my husband had died and I had a daughter who I wanted to be home for really? So like previously I'd worked in, off, well, I'd had lots of, had had lots of jobs, uh, but they all took me away from home. And, um, yeah, I wanted that to change. So, yeah, that, that was why I got into it.

Helen:

And what was it like at the very beginning, you know, if you think all the way back to 18 years ago, Susan, um, can you remember what your assessment process was like, what it felt like when you found out you'd, you'd been approved?

Susan:

Um, yeah, I think the assessment process is very much the same today as it was back then. I, I don't think that's changed. Because, um, they fill out what they call a Form F, which is your life history, basically. Yeah. Um, and they want to know all about your life from, from day one. Um, so that hasn't changed and I don't think, um, they still do the skills to foster. So that has remained the same. Um, I think training has become. Better since I first started. And there's more of it. And it's more widespread in, in a way that they deal with a lot more subjects now than what they used to. So training's improve no end. Um, but I think the basic formula for becoming a foster carers remain the same. Yes, it is nice

Helen:

when you get approved. Yeah, that feeling must be amazing. And you, you haven't always been with the National Fostering Group, have you? So what was it that made you, you change over to NFG? Um, I had

Susan:

friends fostering who were with them, and the organization I was with was mainly Dan South. So they didn't have much, um, they weren't really recognized in this area as much as the, the NFJ or the NFA was when I, when I started with them. So I wasn't really getting many children. Um, children were few far between, and my friends that were in fostering, um, seemed to be having. You know, they've got children long term, short term. Um, and so yeah, so they just said, go along and chat to, um, the manager that was there, go along and have a chat, meet them and see, see what you think. And that's what I did. And I never really looked back after that because. Um, they could show me that yes, although they can't promise you're going to get a child, um, placed with you at any, any regular event, any regular time. Um, they had children in the area, which the previous organization didn't have. Okay. So, yeah, and I haven't looked back since.

Helen:

And I think it's important to remember, Susan, isn't it, that there's lots of different types of fostering that, that people can do that, that can fit into your life. Now you do mainly short term fostering, don't you like respite and emergency fostering? Uh, how does that fit into your life and and what's it like? Well, yeah, that,

Susan:

that's the type of fostering that suits me because I have a daughter that lives on the other side of the world. And, um, I want to go and visit her. So if I've got children in placement, that's quite hard to do if you want to go for more than two weeks. Well, the distance I've got to travel to, to see her. Yeah. Um, I, I'm going for two months. In fact, this year I'm going for three months, so that's impossible. And it's not fair on, on any child that you've got in placement to say, oh, right, I'm off now. Bye-bye. I'll see you in three months time. You can't do that. Um, so that's why emergency respite and very short term.'cause with short term, it's how long is a piece of string. Do you know what I mean? I, I've had children come to me for two weeks that have been with me for two years. Um, so short term doesn't actually always mean short term. Yeah. But I have to be very careful. And, and the NFI are brilliant at it placing young people with me where there is a, a finite end. Um, so I have a lot of young people come to me that are between placements. So they're just looking for a new placement or they're waiting to move into a new placement. Or it may be that the carer they have, um, is ill, I've had two occasions this year when the, the present carer is ill. Um, so I've looked after them, you know, for two, three weeks while that carries recovering from whatever illness they're, they're suffering from. Yeah.

Helen:

Yeah. Uh, might you become then like a regular respite carer for that person? Like maybe they might come back to you again if maybe their carer has to go into hospital or something like that. You might, you might get them come and stay with you again.

Susan:

Oh yeah. I've had, I've had children return to me and that's lovely. That's great. It's nice to think they want to come back, but they're not going, oh no, oh no, we're not going there again. It's nice to think that they're quite happy to come back. Um, and I do have one lad that comes to me on a regular basis, um, which is great 'cause we've built up a good relationship and yeah, he comes to me regularly and that's, that's really nice.

Helen:

Yeah, it's really great to hear Susan, how, um, the, the shorter term, uh, fostering is really working for you. You know, the emergency placements, the respite placements, because then you works around your life, doesn't it? What would you say are the, are the main achievements within fostering for you?

Susan:

Making young people happy, I suppose. Um, that's, that's the best thing, isn't it? You know, when you, when you've got a young person that is happy and is happy to be with you and that you can do things with them that they might not experience normally. Like this, this lab that comes to me, it comes to me to bake. That's why he comes. He wants to bake. He wants to bake cakes, especially cheesecakes. So he'll come to me and that's what he wants. And it's great to just see that big smile on his face. And we, you know, the, we keep a folder of all his bags and we get people to try them and it does a little write up on, you know. What people think of his cooking. Um, that's nice. And then, um, I've had a, a, a young girl that has gone on to university and that's absolutely brilliant, you know, and she still keeps in touch Now. She went last, um, September to university and yeah, it's great 'cause she, she just. As it drifted, and that's nice. And also, um, some young people that I've had that have kept in touch now have families of their own. And that's a real nice, nice achievement that they now settled, that they've gone through all that hardship early on. And today, now they're settled. They've got their own families, got their own young children, and everything's going good. And that's, that's the best achievement, isn't it?

Helen:

Absolutely. Um, what's the real motivation for you behind why you foster Susan? What, what is it that keeps you doing it? I know I'm alive. Uh,

Susan:

yeah. It, it's, it's, uh, I don't know. I think fostering almost becomes, well to me it's become like addictive. Um, because yeah, I do know I'm alive. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning. Um. And it's nice or it's good to help young people face their problems, you know, and, and get them through them. But yeah, I know I'm alive. That's what keeps me going. I know. I'm, uh, yeah, especially when you have. A seven and a 9-year-old that never stop, then that is just, I mean, at the end of it, yeah, you think, oh my God, how did I get through those three weeks? Both. It's brilliant. You know, it's, it's

Helen:

grace. And how long do you see yourself doing it for Susan?

Susan:

Oh, I dunno. As long as the MF as long as the MFI love, um, yeah. I mean, well my health's good. Well, unable. Yeah, I think I will. Um, especially I suppose doing it short term because yeah, it's, it's different, isn't it? Um, there's an end, there's a light at the end. If, if things aren't working out well for me, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. If I'm beginning to feel that I can't manage, then I know it's coming to an end. So, yeah. I think at my age then yes, it's good.

Helen:

You'll keep going for as long as you possibly can. I'm sure. So, yeah. What children have you got? Have you got children living with you now, Susan?

Susan:

No, no, no. They've, they've all recently left me. Yeah. Um, but I've had some really amazing, um. Children and young people here over the last 12 months. And yeah. Some really great personalities out there that just wants, they just want your time.

Helen:

Yeah.

Susan:

And your effort, you know, and, and they really appreciate them. Yeah. It's good.

Helen:

And of course you're getting yourself all ready to go off to Australia, aren't you? So have a, a lovely, lovely time when you go and see your daughter-in-laws and thank you so, so much for chatting to us again, Susan. It's been lovely to catch up. That's absolutely fine. And

Susan:

anytime. And what I would say is that anybody that wants to foster or is thinking you're fostering, just go to your local NFI find out who the recruitment officer is. And ask if you can just meet foster carers in a, you know, go and have a cup of coffee with a group of foster carers that we'll just chat to you. Yeah.

Helen:

Brilliant. Well, thank you so, so much, Susan. Take care.

Susan:

And you. Thank you. Bye.

Helen:

Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster. I.