Voices of Fostering
Voices of Fostering brought to you by National Fostering Group.
Everyone’s life takes a different path. As children and young people decisions can be made for us that shape our lives forever – whether for good or bad. As adults, we have the opportunity to make our own choices. And what we choose can have a positive impact on us and the world around us. Particularly if one of those choices is fostering. When you listen to the stories of children and young people whose lives have been touched by foster carers, you start to see the impact that fostering can have. When you decide to foster, it’s hard to imagine just how big a difference you could make. Not just to the young people you foster, but rippling out into countless other lives. Your choice to foster could transform the life chances of some of the most vulnerable people in society. In this podcast, you’ll hear young people who were fostered, birth children and foster carers talking openly and candidly about their experiences. You’ll get to understand why fostering can be simultaneously the most rewarding and the most challenging thing you’ll ever do and why embarking on this extraordinary journey changes people forever. If you’ve ever been curious about what it really means to foster, what difference it really makes, you’ll find the answers here.
Voices of Fostering
Serwari - Fostering, Resilience, and Community
Join us for a heartfelt episode of "Voices of Fostering" as we welcome back Serwari, a dedicated foster carer with over a decade of experience. In this candid conversation, Serwari shares her journey through the joys and challenges of fostering, the impact of personal loss, and the strength she finds in her community and faith.
Discover what it means to open your home and heart to children in need, the emotional stories of unaccompanied asylum-seeking children, and how support from family, friends, and fostering agencies makes all the difference.
Whether you’re considering fostering or simply want to hear an inspiring story of resilience and compassion, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement.
If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.
If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk
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Hello and welcome to this episode of Voices of Fostering. And today I'm delighted to be joined by a returning guest because I feel like we're creating a little community here on the podcast, and we like to check in with our foster carers and our guests and see how they're getting on. So earlier on this year, in the summer, we chatted with Serwari and a, we are delighted to welcome her back. So, hi Serwari. Hi. Yeah, Helen. Hello. So, remind us a little bit about you Serwari and, and the type of fostering you do and how long you've been doing it.
Serwari:I've been in foster carer since the 2014, I think. Wow. So it's over 10 years now. Before that, you name it, I've done it, you know, uh, that you could name off. Um, but I must say this is one of the best job in my life I've done, and I really, really appreciate, uh, being a foster care, a foster carer, because I love, um, giving my time and my ear to the children. Come to me.
Helen:Yeah. And you, you call it a job, Serwari, but does it feel like a job? It's more than a job, isn't it? Yeah,
Serwari:it's more than a job. Um, it's, it's like a, it's a job, but it's your responsibilities and. Uh, and bringing the child into your, like family and making them feel at home and be, be like the part of the family and that some do make sense, some don't, but, uh, you've just gotta take it as a day.
Helen:Yeah. And am I right in saying you are a, a solo foster carer, aren't you? Can you tell us about your household at the moment? How many children or young people you've got living with you? At the minute I've got nobody. Oh, wow. So you are in between.
Serwari:I'm just having a break. Yeah, because my husband passed away, um, in July.
Helen:Oh goodness. So
Serwari:I had a child then, but he was only a respite and he went, and then after that I thought I'll just, 'cause we have to stay at home for four months and 10 days when if your husband passes away. So I thought if I take a new child on it would be like all the new appointments and doctors and dentists and optician. Yeah. And you know, everything. College or school or whatever and you know, all the meetings and everything.
Helen:Yeah.
Serwari:Uh, which I couldn't mingle, uh, with people, uh, very much, especially males. And females are okay. Okay. And so I thought I'll just take a little break till November.
Helen:Okay. So can you just explain that a little bit further for anybody who might not understand Serwari? So that's something in your faith, is it that after your partner passes away, can you tell us a little bit more about that? Yeah, it's, it's called Edit
Serwari:for Muslim people. Okay. And, uh, you're supposed to. It's like if I was younger and if I was pregnant and not, uh, it's the only way to find out who was the father of the child. That is the main reason behind it, and it's just, um, you get very good reward for doing it. And my husband would get a reward as well.
Helen:So that's interesting that obviously when things like that happen in your life, do you find that the, the national fostering group and your, your fostering agency are really quite understanding with that and they adapt?
Serwari:Well, it was, uh, first time because they, it was first, you know, first time for them as well, and they, they've learned from me. That, you know, I have to stay home for Yeah. Um, six months, uh, four months and 10 days. I can go out to the appointments and that, like the doctors and whatever.
Helen:Yeah. But
Serwari:that's only where I'm allowed. Right, right. Okay. If I was, if there was nobody else working in the house and I was still working full-time, I'm allowed to go on work. Um, so that's not an issue. But because I'm not working. So I just stay at home and, uh, I get all my shopping done and everything Yeah. From other people. And, uh, everybody's very helpful. Very helpful. Yeah.
Helen:So do you find that if there are times in your life that you need that break from, from having a foster child or a young person with you, then it's possible to do that? To be honest,
Serwari:I missed not having a child. Yeah. You know, because he went, uh, he was here about five, six weeks and when he went, and, uh, you know, you, I go past the room. My room is next, next room with the child. And every time I look at the room and I say, oh, I don't know, my heart just goes like that. And I, I really miss not having a child. It's the first
Helen:time ever I've had a break. Right. Okay. So yeah. When are you hoping to have somebody come back and live with you? Yeah. Yeah. And when do you hope that that might happen? Well, I finish on the 16th of November. Right, okay. Yeah. So that's really something to look forward to, isn't it? I am, I'm really looking forward to having, I bet you are. What, what do you feel is the, is the best thing about, uh, you know, having lots of children and young people in your house? So worry,
Serwari:because I do Unaccompanied Asylum and I love to listen to their stories. Not everybody talks about, uh, you know, how the journey was and everything, but it's really, sometime it's very, uh, emotional listening to them how the, the journey was and everything. And sometime it's um, you know, it's, it's sad for them how they make the journeys. Uh, 'cause I've had a child who came on the boat and I've had a child who came in the truck. And every time he was with me in a car and the truck was in front of me, he used to, you know, shiver.
Helen:Yeah.
Serwari:Because it, you know, uh, takes him back to Yeah. Brought memories.
Helen:Yeah.
Serwari:And he, he said it was really awful because he didn't have any jackets or anything like that, you know, like well wrapped up. And it was like a freezer thing where, where he came in. So it, it's really a very, very, uh, you know, I'm trying to understand them. Then I had a child who came on a boat and he said the boat was so overloaded you couldn't even move like that and you weren't allowed to move.'cause if you move, the boat could tilt that way. Wow. Oh my goodness. So, yeah, so I know it's very, very emotional sometime when you're listening to them.
Helen:Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And do you feel like you, you find it quite easy to be able to support them Serwari?
Serwari:I do try. I do try.
Helen:Yeah. Yeah. But do you feel like you've got a lot of support around you from your agency if you need it?
Serwari:Yeah. Yeah. And my family, my son, my daughters, and, uh, all the social workers and, yeah. Everybody's always around if I need them.
Helen:So you're having a break at the moment, obviously, 'cause you've explained, uh, with what's happened over the summer with sadly losing your husband. Uh, but hopefully by the end of this year you'll be back to having children and young people with you. How long do you see yourself doing it for Serwari? When I stop doing it? Yeah. Well, how long do you think you'll go for? Do you think you'll be fostering forever?
Serwari:I'm gonna try and my kids keep saying Mum. You should retire. I say, well, it keeps me going. It's something to look forward to in the morning. Yeah, definitely.
Helen:Well, thank you so much for catching up with us soi. It's been lovely to chat to you. Send in you lots and lots of love and take care. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster.