Voices of Fostering

Joanne, Oliver and Max: The life of a fostering family

• National Fostering Group • Season 4 • Episode 16

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Welcome to another heartfelt episode of Voices of Fostering! In this episode, host Helen sits down with Joanne and her sons, Max (16) and Oliver (12), to share their inspiring journey as a fostering family.

Discover what it’s really like to open your home to foster children—from the initial decision and assessment process, to welcoming their first placements, and the everyday joys and challenges of family life with five children. Hear directly from Max and Oliver about their honest feelings, how fostering has changed their perspectives, and the special memories they’ve created with their foster siblings.

Whether you’re considering fostering, already on the journey, or simply curious about the impact it has on families, this episode offers valuable insights, advice, and encouragement. Joanne and her boys discuss the importance of communication, the power of empathy, and why fostering has become their “forever job.”

If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.

If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk

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Helen:

Hello and welcome to this episode of Voices of Fostering. Now, quite often on the podcast, we talk about how you foster as a family and that birth children are so important within the assessment process and within fostering life in general. And I'm absolutely delighted to be joined by a fostering family today, including a 12-year-old Oliver and 16-year-old Matt. Um, welcome, Joannene to the podcast. Hello, Joannene. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, max and Oliver, thank you so much for joining us. Hi. Now starting with you Joannene. Just tell us a little bit about, uh, how long you've been fostering and, and what led you to want to be a foster carer.

Joanne:

Okay, so we've been fostered for three and a half years, so, uh, not too long. Um, and it's, so it's always something I wanted to do. Um, and yeah, it is just through conversations with my husband and the children. Um, and we all decided together that we'd do it.

Helen:

Brilliant. So, boy, starting with you, um, max, when you found out that your mum and dad wanted to foster, what did you think?

Max:

Um, at first I wasn't too sure 'cause it was quite like a new ex, it would be a new experience. Um, so I wasn't quite sure, but. Once, once we started doing it, it became easier for me.

Helen:

Yeah. And, and what about you Oliver? Do you think the same? Were you maybe a little bit unsure at first?

Oliver:

Yeah, I was a bit unsure, but it's like a good feeling when you're doing it 'cause you know you're doing like the right thing. It just gets there once you actually do do it. Oh, brilliant. So Joannene, what was the assessment

Helen:

process like for you guys and, and were the boys really, really involved in it?

Joanne:

Yeah. Um, the, that was fine. We quite enjoyed it actually. Um, it, it's quite intense, but, but we didn't mind that. Um, and we just explained to the boys, um, what was gonna happen and, um, yeah, it was fine. It was, it was fine.

Helen:

And Max, what did you think about the assessment process? Did you enjoy it?

Max:

Um, yeah.

Helen:

Was it good? Were there any maybe difficult parts of it?

Max:

Um, not that I can think of really.

Helen:

Yeah. And what about you, Oliver? Did you find it good as well? Uh,

Oliver:

yeah, it was quite good. Yeah.

Helen:

Oh, excellent. And what about when the, a first child came to stay with you? Can Joannene tell us about your, your first foster child or children? Who was it who came to live with you and what was it like?

Joanne:

Uh, so we had two little girls and it was an emergency placement, so not much time to prepare. Boys, boys. Um, and it was everything. It was exciting. It was nerve wracking. It was everything. All, all into one.

Helen:

Yeah. Um,

Joanne:

and the boys were really good because they just took a side step. Um, while we got things sorted on. Then they slowly introduced themselves to the girls. Yeah. Um, you know, started playing with them. So, yeah, it was a big mixture of emotions. Yeah,

Helen:

I bet it was. And Oliver, can you remember how you felt when you were waiting for those, those two little girls to arrive?

Oliver:

Um, I was quite nervous because it's like new people coming to the house and like, I was a bit scared because I didn't know if they was like heated here, but in the end, they sell them very well and then you just loved them.

Helen:

And what about you? Um, max, did you feel similar?

Max:

Uh, yeah. I remember like everybody was rushing about like trying to get everything ready for the girls to come and I was quite nervous 'cause like all of a sudden I didn't know. It felt like, like a year. Yeah. But in the end it was Allura.

Helen:

Um, and what's it like now when you are waiting for, for children to come and stage? You feel much more relaxed now?

Max:

Yeah,

Helen:

yeah, definitely. Definitely used to it. Do you think the same, Oliver?

Oliver:

Yeah. Because like, you know, what, what to expect now and stuff. Yeah. And Joannene, you must feel so

Helen:

proud of your boys, like how they take everything in their stride.

Joanne:

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. They, they're so good with the children and they've got so much patience and understanding. Um, and they help us to help them as well. So yeah, very proud.

Helen:

Um, boys, you know, like at school and stuff, or with your mates, like how, how do people react when they find out you are a foster family?

Max:

They, I mean, they usually say it might be, it's probably quite difficult for us, but we think it's like a good thing for us to be doing.

Helen:

Yeah.

Max:

Yeah.

Helen:

And do you think the same Oliver, like what, how do people respond to you?

Oliver:

Yeah. For some people don't really know what it is, so I have to explain it to 'em. Yeah. And then they understand and they like. Happy that I'm doing it.

Helen:

Yeah. And are they quite often quite interested in the ask your loads of questions? Yeah. Well

Oliver:

I know more about like what I'm doing and how long and do stuff like that.

Helen:

Yeah. And do you think Oliver is something you might do when you are an adult?

Oliver:

Uh, yeah, I might.

Helen:

Yeah. Do you think the same Max? Um,

Max:

yeah, I definitely thought about it for, yeah. Yeah. Amazing. So Joannene, tell us about your

Helen:

life in general as a, as a foster family. You know, what's a typical day like? Um,

Joanne:

always quite busy. Um, I have got another son as well, so there's five children Oh, okay. In the house, so a lot of school runs and appointments, et cetera. Um, but it's just the house is just full of energy and fun and laughter and arguments. Yeah. Um. Yeah, it's just a buzzing house and there's always something going on. There's, it's

Helen:

never boring. Do you feel like fostering has changed you at all as a family? Like maybe for the better? Yeah. I think it's brought

Joanne:

us closer together and it's allowed the boys to look at life a bit differently as well.

Helen:

Yeah.

Joanne:

So, you know, they appreciate how lucky they are. Probably more than they did before. Yeah,

Helen:

yeah. Like boys. Do you think that your friends realize that there may be, are children who aren't as fortunate as you guys are?

Max:

Yeah. Well, I don't, I don't think they've like, understand as much as we do because obviously we've like seen it and had to experience like the aftermath of it all basically. Yeah. So I, I think we would understand more what it's like. And how fortunate we are compared to like other people who haven't double fostering or anything like that.

Helen:

Yeah. And Oliver, do you think it has made you maybe, I don't know, a bit more grateful or a kind person?

Oliver:

Yeah, definitely. Like not to take anything for granted. Yeah. Because something that I might not like another person would look to like, have that.

Helen:

So boys, if anyone was watching or listening and maybe their parents have played this podcast to them because they're thinking about becoming foster carers, what would you say to, to any children or young people whose mom and dad are maybe thinking about doing it?

Max:

Um, I'd say like, at, at first it can be quite difficult, but once like you get to know the, the children and they get comfortable with you, it becomes quite easy. And it's, it's just a good thing to do 'cause you're helping people out.

Helen:

Yeah, definitely. Thank you, max. And what would you say Oliver?

Oliver:

Um, like the first stage are probably always the hardest. Then settle into a different environment. But after like the first maybe couple weeks, like you get to introduce yourself and it's just a very good feeling like playing with them, like having two more siblings and stuff.

Helen:

Yeah. And what are some of your favorite memories of, of things over the last few years that, that you've done with your foster siblings? Is there anything that stands out?

Max:

Um,

Helen:

quite a lot even. Yeah. Yeah. For

Max:

me, I think the best is probably Christmas. Because like for example, the girls that we've had right now haven't ever had like a proper Christmas. So watching their faces when we walked into the living room with all the presents and seeing them all excited was a good moment though.

Helen:

Yeah, definitely. And what about you, Oliver? Is there anything that stands out for you

Oliver:

and the, like? The girls we have right now, the youngest one, it wasn't their birthday that long ago. And so you bring the birthday cake and she crying happiness and Sure. The candles in the cake and it just like made you very happy to see that. Yeah.

Helen:

And does it just make you realize like how lucky you are, you know, as you said before, like just take things for granted. Yeah. Yeah. De and Joannene, how long do you think you'll foster for? Like, you, can you see yourself doing this for years and years?

Joanne:

Yeah, I'll, I'll never have a different job. This is my forever job now. Definitely. Um, but I, I don't know, as long as I can. Yeah. As long as I'm able to. Yeah.

Helen:

And if there was anyone watching or listening who was thinking about it, you know, and maybe they've got birth children and they're maybe concerned about how it's gonna affect them, what, what advice would you give them? My

Joanne:

advice would be, be completely open, honest, and communicate. Um, the boys went through the journey absolutely by our sides. Um, there was nothing we knew that they didn't. Um, so just communication. Yeah,

Helen:

communication is key. Well, thank you so, so much for joining us guys. It's been so amazing to talk to you and well done for all the brilliant work that you do and long may it continue. So thank you so much, much. Thanks Max. Thanks Oliver. Thanks Joanne. Take

Joanne:

care. Thank you.

Helen:

Bye. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster.