Voices of Fostering

Serwari - Market Stall to Fostering

• National Fostering Group • Season 4 • Episode 7

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In this heartwarming episode of Voices of Fostering, we sit down with Serwari, a dedicated foster carer with over 12 years of experience. Serwari shares her incredible journey, from overcoming personal challenges to fostering children from diverse backgrounds, including unaccompanied asylum-seeking children. 

She discusses her initial apprehensions, valuable support from social workers, and her rewarding experiences of seeing foster children thrive. Serwari also provides insightful advice for those considering fostering and the importance of support networks. Don't miss this inspiring episode and learn more about the transformative power of fostering.

If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.

If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk

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Helen:

Hello and welcome to this episode of Voices of Fostering, where today we're joined by a foster carer who's got a wealth of experience over 10 years of fostering. Uh, welcome to the podcast, Serwari. Hello, Serwari. Hiya. Hello. Thank you so much for coming on. So, 12 years, am I correct in saying that you've been fostering? Yes. Yes you are. That's quite a long time, isn't it? And um, and it's a very long time. And you foster by yourself, don't you? So taking us all the way back to 12 years ago or more, Serwari, can you tell us about what led you to fostering, why you decided to do it?

Serwari:

I always wanted to foster, but uh, I kept making inquiries and everything. Every time I made inquiries. I didn't know how to have a room spare. And, uh, they said, oh, you, you needed a spare room. And because all my children was at home, I, I had a five bedroom house, but it still was, you know, so every time I made inquiries, I got pushed back because of the space.

Helen:

Right. Okay. So it just, yeah. The, the, the, the practicalities weren't right at the time, but then you, you finally got to a, a position where, where it was, and, and you could, so what w what happened then? Then my.

Serwari:

Daughter's, uh, auntie in-law, they, uh, said to me, oh, you can foster. You couldn't foster. I says, no, I don't think I can do it now. They said, no, no, no. You can do it. So I was with my daughter in London. I said, this is what your auntie saying. She said, mom, yeah, you can. You can. So. It just started like that and they recommended me, uh, to NFA and it just went through like, you know, everything went okay, this and that, that, and, you know, I was so nervous. And 'cause uh, I struggle with my spellings and that, and it was El who helped me along with everything. Uh, you know, it was, he's a great, great person. El

Helen:

Yeah. So I was gonna say like, what were those feelings at the start, as you say, there were nerves because, you know, you struggle, you struggle with spelling wa was that something that you didn't really need to worry about? Was it, was it not a problem?

Serwari:

I, I don't think I should have worried about it, but I was worried. Yeah. Because I still struggled with my spellings and that, and at that time I didn't even have an email address or nothing. And, uh, you know, it just, everything just flew away.

Helen:

I. And did you feel like you had enough support then as you say, you had Ian helping you? Who, who was Ian?

Serwari:

He was a recruitment officer then. Yeah. And like, uh, Laura is now, but he was really nice person. He talked me through with everything and even when I went for my trainings, you know, um, skills to Foster. Yeah. And I was scared in case I didn't understand anything or I don't know. I mean, I. Uh, I just, I thought I maybe, uh, some words I might not understand. I do still don't understand some big words, but then I ask the person and they, you know, they make it clear for me. Yeah. But, uh, I was very, very scared about the English, but, you know, uh, whether I would be okay or not. Yeah. And, but no, um,

Helen:

uh, I've been, I've really done well, I think. Yeah. And you felt like you always had the support that things were accessible for you. Yeah. Yeah, that's fantastic to hear. So before fostering, Serwari, you, you did quite a different thing, didn't you? Am I right in saying you had a market stall in Blackpool? Is that right? I.

Serwari:

Yes, I did. Yeah. So that was the last job I did. So that was the last

Helen:

job that you did before fostering. So quite a change then really, isn't it? It's a big change. Yeah. And then what was the start of fostering, like for you then? Did you go straight into having a child or young person live with you? Uh, I did, uh,

Serwari:

at,

Helen:

at the

Serwari:

beginning. I didn't have a child for about a year or so. Oh, okay. And, uh, but I kept on going to the office. I did all the training. I called, I was there in the office almost every other day and, you know, I got to know everybody. And, um, and then when I did have a child, it was a very, very high risk, um, um, child, you know. Two siblings I had, uh, boy and a girl I was talking about, uh, then children this morning with KA as well, wine social worker. And, uh, I wasn't allowed to open the door to any Asian, uh, policeman. I, I had, 'cause I do alterations. I had to take the alteration sign down, I had to keep me, uh, uh, blinds closed. You know, I was very, very high risk, uh, um, child I had, but. My social work at the time was Joe, and she was more scared that I was, you know, she used to say, Sue, be careful. Do this. I said, don't worry. I'll be all right. I'll be all.

Helen:

So did you feel, as you say it was, it was quite an unsettling time for you with that, that high risk, um, child that you had with you. Did you feel like you had enough support in that though?

Serwari:

I did. Yeah. But I didn't feel is as if it was, uh. Like a high risk thing, you know what I mean? I would just know.

Helen:

So yeah. So tell us about some of the, the other children and young people that you've had come to live with you then. Um, I understand you've had, uh, five or six unaccompanied asylum seeking children. So can you tell us about some of those experiences? Serwari.

Serwari:

Yeah, I've had non-Muslim children and I've had Muslim children and all being from different background, like some from Africa, some from Iran, some from, um. Uh, Ethiopia and, uh, they've been all different place, uh, from different places. And the one, the best one I've had, I just had a phone call of him the other day, uh, not yesterday, the day before. He's gone on holiday in. Kurdistan and, uh, I keep in, he keeps in touch with me and it was, it is been a while since he hadn't phoned. So I phoned him and he didn't, uh, answer the phone and I, I got bit worried and I was saying to my kids, I says, oh, you know, hasn't rung me. And then I rang his friend.'cause I, I'm very close with his friends as well. And I says, always know that. And he says, oh mom, he's in Kurdistan. He's gone on holiday. I said, oh, went back. He says, next week. So, um, then he the must have told him, mom's worried about you, you know, so, and then he rang me, uh, day before yesterday and you know, when he rings me, my face lit soap and my blood flows all over my body. And ending bit ready put. Just before he puts the phone down, he say, man, if you need anything, let me know.

Helen:

Oh, so is he an adult now? Then Sui,

Serwari:

he'll be, uh. He left me when he was in nine, about 18, 19.'cause he stayed on for at the council labs. And then I heard another one after that. So he was 2020, about 23 I think. Maybe 22 and three. Yeah.

Helen:

Oh wow. So you must be so proud of him. Soi. I

Serwari:

am, I am, I'm very proud of her. And he's got about three shops, barber shops, and, uh, he, he's the person, when he came to me, he didn't know who how to hold a pen.

Helen:

Oh wow.

Serwari:

When he came to me, uh, I think it was the social worker or the police state policeman, I can't remember. They asked him to sign the paper, you know, the form. And he says, may. I says, yeah, just, uh, get a pen and put across. And he did. But from that day, you know, I told him, um. All the alphabet and how to write his name, how to make, how to sign his name and teach him the address and everything. He didn't know English at all, but he's, he is one of my best child I've had.

Helen:

And yeah, Soori. I think sometimes people think that when, um, a child or young person moves on from you that you know, you might not speak to them again. And sometimes that does happen, but quite often they stay in your lives, don't they? And you've, and you, your network just becomes bigger and bigger, doesn't it?

Serwari:

Yeah, it does. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, because, um, my children's, uh, you know, he's part of our family. He'll ring me on e he'll ring me on, uh, you know, and, and just out of the blue, he'll just say, mom, are you okay? Everybody okay? You know, he's asked by the names and he'll, uh, then just before he puts on Mom, do you need anything? Even, uh, the other day he says, mom, if you need anything from me here, like we know. I said, all I need is praise from you. That's all I said. Keep praying for me.

Helen:

And Serwari, can you tell us about what your fostering agency is like and you know, the network of other carers and support that you have? What's that like?

Serwari:

I've very good social workers. I. They've been very, very good and all. I always go to the support groups and you learn and every time you go you learn something different because there's different ideas that people use and you know, you might be struggling with something and there'd be somebody else with a different idea to guide you to go this way, that way. Um. Uh, and I love going to, going to sport groups and talking to people, and I love going to trainings, uh, face to face in the office.'cause then again, you're talking to different people. I. Different ideas. Again, we've got a, our own support group, uh, WhatsApp group, like carers, and we talk to each other on that as well. And then if I'm really struggling with something, I would talk to one of our carers, Theresa. And she's very helpful. She's very helpful. And she'll say, Sue this, that the other, you know? And, uh, I mean there's ups and downs. It's every child isn't the same. The one I've got at the minute, he's very, very, very quiet. He doesn't talk at all, and when he does talk, you can hardly understand him.

Helen:

And Serwari, you recently recommended a, a young couple who were now approved foster carers, didn't you? So tell us about that.

Serwari:

Well, uh, that was again, um, I was just talking to them. I says, uh, why don't you foster? And she says, uh, auntie, do you think I can do it? I said, yeah, you can. You can't. We are like mother and daughter with each other. Right. And I've known her for the, uh, well maybe 10, 12 years. Maybe just after fostering I, I've known her and um, and she says, uh, do you think so? I said, well, come on, let's go just for a cup of tea now.'cause it was like a sport group where you could drink a friend who I could nominate. And I just took them and then they took some details and uh, so I cut them forward and they went too. And they're very happy. They've got a placement as well.

Helen:

Oh, well that must feel so rewarding, Serwari. Well done for doing that. So if there was anybody listening or watching who, who wanted to, um, to foster, but maybe they're, you know, feeling a bit hesitant, what advice would you give to anybody, uh, who was thinking about being a foster carer?

Serwari:

All you need to give is your time. A roof over them, over the roof, over the head. And he had to listen to. And you're there for them when they need you.

Helen:

Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you so much, soi. Thank you so much for coming on today and best of luck with the future.

Serwari:

Thank you very much. Thank you. I've enjoyed it.

Helen:

Thank you. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster.