Voices of Fostering

Nazia - From Social Work to Fostering

• National Fostering Group • Season 3 • Episode 15

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In this heartfelt episode of Voices of Fostering, Helen sits down with Nazia, a dedicated foster carer and former social worker. Nazia shares her passionate journey about what led her to foster after 22 years in social work and her invaluable experiences as a foster carer. From helping children in school to managing the complex needs of foster kids, Nazia's story is a powerful testament to resilience, family support, and the importance of caring for others. Tune in as she discusses her transition from social work to fostering, the importance of cultural understanding in care, and her inspiring thoughts for those considering fostering.



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Helen:

Hello and welcome to this episode of Voices of Fostering, where today I'm joined by one of our lovely foster carers, Nazia. Hello Nazia. It's lovely to have you here in the flesh. Of course, all of our guests are fabulous, but it's extra fabulous when they're actually here in real life and not just talking to me through a screen.

Nazia:

So thank you so much for coming in.

Helen:

No worries. So how are you today?

Nazia:

I'm good. I'm good. It's cold. It is a little bit chilly.

Helen:

Yeah, it is. It is. And you're getting used to being in the spotlight now, Nazir, aren't you? Because you've been, uh, doing quite a bit, haven't you?

Nazia:

i Have. I've just recently, um, sort of gained some free time. So I thought, um, I'll kind of redirect my kind of, uh, um, focus and, uh, just keep myself in, you know, sort of interested and, um, you know, just, podcast and support what I, uh, what I love to do. So we've been doing some, some work on making this the year that you foster. Absolutely. And you're going to be in, you're in one of our videos, aren't you for it? I've been told. Yes.

Helen:

It's very exciting. And now you're on the podcast as well. I

Nazia:

know. I know. I think my children are going to cringe. Yeah. What

Helen:

are they going to think of it? Do you think? I

Nazia:

have no idea. But to be honest, um, you know, I love my kids and, um, you know, they've, they've, they've been, um, a source of strength for me. And, um, you know, throughout my kind of journey in, um, in my professional life, I wouldn't have been able to do it without them. So I can imagine they're, uh, they're kind of just saying, well, you know, keep doing it mom kind of thing. Yeah. Cause you know, like as a family it's, um, you know, it's kind of like working in, um, children's services, fostering has always been quite, um, it's been quite a passionate. Um, kind of, uh, it's been a passion for me since I've had children, to be honest, um, not so social services or anything, but more like just helpful, you know, just being helpful in the sense of just helping other families, you know, as a, as a parent, you know, you have children in school and nursery and you see other parents and, um, there's always families that, you know, uh, are in need. And, and it's just, I, I, I kind of like it. It's just something that I've always kind of done.

Helen:

Yeah. So let's start by talking about that then. You're, you started fostering, was it three years ago? I did. Yes. Yeah. And before that you were a social worker for many years. So tell us a bit about your career and what led you to fostering. Okay.

Nazia:

Um, Well, as I said, it kind of the journey started where I became a parent and my children started going to school. Um, you know, in, uh, when they were in nursery, when they're in, uh, when they start in the play group and things, um, I live in a predominantly quite ethnic minority area. Um, and obviously when the children started primary school, when the children were in nursery, you know, there's lots of families, there's lots of children that go there and just, um, just as used to help out, you know, like, cause they do, they always ask parents, um, I love to cook. So it was always a case of, you know, when it came to the summer fairs or the Christmas holidays or school was doing something, um, You know, and they'd ask parents to do, come in and help. I always volunteered whenever I could. Um, I love cooking. Um, so, and I know, and I know, you know, sort of like lots of families, everybody loves a samosa, don't they? Kind of thing. So it was, it was always that it started off there. Um, you know, kids are doing some activity in school, um, and they want parents to support. So we'd go in there, um, always used to do, um, you know, when it came to Easter, uh, in the, you know, in, um, in the primary schools, the children always did, um, you know, making, um, bonnets. And then as they got older, they made kind of like creative things with eggs and things. So it was very, quite competitive, you know, as parents. Uh, so it was just good fun. To be honest, um, but like I said, when the children were there and there was always children who needed additional support in the, you know, to learn the language and it always used to kind of bother me that, you know, I've, there's a child there in a class all day and has no way of knowing what the teacher's saying. said, no way of, um, understanding how to interact, you know, interact in the class or missing out on so much. Yeah. So we're talking

Helen:

about children who, who English isn't their first language or they don't have it at all. Absolutely. And, and they're, they're in a school where they don't understand anything. Exactly.

Nazia:

Wow. Yeah, I know. And it used to bother me. Um, you know, it used to bother me a great deal. So it was because of that, that I kind of like got involved and, you know, like parents go in and help give you, you know, they kind of give a child additional support and help them to read. Uh, you know, you'd get parents who came, you know, come in and couldn't speak English. So they'd always ask you, Oh, can you just say this to the teacher? Or I don't understand, you know, that kind of thing. And it kind of just started off from there really, to be honest. Um, I was obviously a housewife for 10 years. Um, but. Even before getting married, I got married quite young, but before then I was, um, I always enjoyed my education. I always enjoyed it. Um, and it was kind of like a dream of mine was to go to university. So, um, that got put on hold because I got, as I said, I got married quite young and then had children straight away. So I was at home. Um, but then. Um, you know, I kind of like had a very real conversation with my husband and said, look, you know, we're going to be married 10 years. It's coming to our anniversary. You've got three children now. Is this it? Because I'm not going to be a housewife in year 11, you know, I need to get out of the house kind of thing. Yeah. Um, so, um, you know, he said, no, I'd, uh, you know, he comes from a big family, so he wanted one more. So we had my youngest child, um, and that was year 10. And then year 11, I went back to college and started that journey back to, you know, just back into education and being able to do something really, to be honest. Yeah. And then

Helen:

you became a social worker. I did.

Nazia:

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't complete my A level. So obviously went back as a, um, as a mature student and, um, you know, and then went on to a degree in social work. I was kind of like, Contemplating teaching, because obviously that's all I knew, uh, you know, that support in school and that lack of, um, kind of support that children receive in school, in school and the lack of language that parents, um, you know, are unable to access because of that. And so I always kind of veered towards that, but then I was, um, when I was at college, I had, um, I made friends and, um, you know, and, um, one of my friends kind of, you know, persuaded me and said that, um, you know, like in schools, you're going to have limited input, limited, um, kind of influence, if that's the right word. Um, you know, in relation to families, because obviously it's very rigid, it's, it's very set in an academic, um, environment, but the challenges are that. When children and parents go home, there's so much more to do. There's so much more need there. And, um, obviously, you know, in relation to parents about having that input with them, where you can make a difference is something that possibly you'll be able to do with social work. So that's why I kind of left that and went into social work and I've never regretted

Helen:

it since. Yeah. And then how did social work then move into fostering? How did that happen?

Nazia:

I was, I've was, I've been a social worker for 22 years. I've had a number of roles. Um, you know, I started off as a social worker in a, in a children assessment team. So it was very much led by crisis, very much led by duty in the sense of, you know, you're going out there, you're going into a crisis situation, and you kind of manage that situation and then it moves on. So children, you know, either, you know, you, you're working with families mm-hmm . Long term, or they become into the, looked after arena. Uh, where that's a completely different thing. So I had a couple of roles, but in, for the last 10, 12 years or so, I was an IRO. So that was IRO? Oh, sorry, Independent Reviewing Officer. Okay. So what does that involve? That is, uh, in relation to, um, uh, looked after children. Yeah. So when a child becomes looked after, they are appointed an Independent Reviewing Officer, and the purpose of the reviewing officer is to be their advocate. Okay. Yeah, that'd be their voice. Uh, because obviously when children become looked after and they are removed from the family home and they are placed where, you know, within a local authority or, you know, within a setting of some form, whether it's a foster home or whether a residential or, you know, any kind of, you know, environment. There are a number. Um, then the local authority has, um, kind of like a responsibility. They have a duty of care. Um, and they will make decisions for that child. Now the independent reviewing officer is to ensure that what the law, what decisions a local authority makes are in the best interest of the child. And that's the key component. That, are they, are they, are they in the right, you know, are they right for the child, are they in the best interest for the child, you know, will those decisions promote that child, you know, are all of his needs being met, uh, you know, and being, and as an independent reviewing officer, your role is to quality assure basically, to make sure the local authority is doing what they should be doing, make sure that they are doing. placing the child central to their decision there for the whole journey, you know, for whatever personal reasons, the child will have a number of changes in social work. So the lovely thing I always found was, you know, as an independent reviewing officer, you know, that, that kind of role, people don't tend to leave that often. And I wouldn't have left it either. I would have, fostering was always my goal. Um, and, and I'll come to that. Um, but, um, My role was, my kind of like joy was I was going to retire on this, you know, but like I said, about three years ago, I had a health scare, quite a serious one. Um, sadly, the scare itself, um, kind of like affected physical, physical elements of my life, you know, I wasn't able to do so. I knew I wouldn't be able to continue with some of aspects of my life. being a reviewing officer. And one of them was about the traveling, you know, like you could literally have four meetings in a day and you'll be in four different towns. So there's a lot of physical traveling to do. And that was something when I initially became unwell, I wasn't able to do. So I moved to a desk job. Um, but in coming back to your point about, you know, The transition, I obviously have four children, uh, so I never had the space. So my wish was always that when my children leave my home and I have empty bedrooms, I will foster. And that will be my point of changing over, you know, I've been telling my, you know, like people to become foster carers and two of my sisters are, I kind of like persuaded them. Um, so they are foster carers. So my goal was always, right. My kids, when I have, Available space in my home that would be when I start my fostering journey, uh, you know, and, and I have, uh, this year I've stopped working and kind of like just dedicating all my time to just the fostering and it's lovely, you know, it just feels like I'm kind of like just a parent again, just, you know, Looking after kids, you know, so

Helen:

when you were first approved, who was the first child that you had? What the

Nazia:

first the first family that I had was a sibling group a group of three. Yeah It was a case of well, you know, well, let's just throw you in at the deep end kind of thing They were complex, very complex, um, group of children. Um, and I suppose the one very interesting thing that I learned, I was, um, I was so used to telling people what to do when they're leaving. You know, as an independent review officer, you go to the meeting, you kind of like talking to, you know, like everybody's there where, you know, you gather together, you, um, you know, kind of like obtain, uh, obtain, uh, you know, obtain, uh, updates from everybody, see how the child is doing, speak to the child, get them involved. And then it's a case of, well, okay, right. Okay. Here's an action plan. And, um, crack on with it and I'll see you later kind of thing, you know, so the very, very interesting thing about a foster, uh, being a foster carer was that someone else was telling me what to do and they were leaving and I was left with it. So, I think the interesting thing for me was it was a learning curve for me. It was a lot of learning I did, not the children so much because I think for, in respect to the children, You take them as they are, you know, your role as a foster carer is right here is a child, you know, they come to you with, you know, sort of many things going on in their lives. And it's about, like you said, supporting them through that process, you know, giving them that kind of support that they need to kind of make some sense of it, as well as simultaneously the trauma of what they're doing in the settling into a strange home kind of thing. Um, but it's always about them. You know, so for me, it was a learning curve for me about how I adjusted to the role and, you know, like maybe my, my kind of, um, my own thought processes, there was a lot of learning, but it was a lot of learning was for me and my husband, um, you know, through that process. And as I said, those three children, there was a sibling group of three, different ages, you know, I had, um, a 15 year old teenager, a typical teenager. Um, you know, I had, um, a middle child who very articulate, very bright, but there was a, there was obviously quite a lot of, um, trauma going, internal trauma going on with this child, but very non vocal. Um, so, um, he was, uh, this particular child was, um, obviously experiencing a lot, but not voicing any of it is all internalized. So that was having to kind of like manage him. And then I had a younger child, um, who was just. You know, full of life and didn't, didn't stop. So it was just manage, you know, how you kind of individually manage them. Um, and, you know, just learn to do that really, you know, it was, um, it was interesting now they left after a period. And then after that, um, I received, um, young unaccompanied asylum seekers. Which was a completely different, you know, um, kind of experience and learning that went with that, you know, with that kind of, um, um, placement. Um, and I still have three children in placement, you know, same, unaccompanied, um, from two different countries. Um, but, you know, it's going really well, they're fantastic, uh, lads. Um, you know, and. It's amazing. You know, like the, it's the one thing that you do learn is how resilient children are and the level of the strength that children have. It actually is an inspiration to be honest, to know that, you know, these children and what they experience and how they bounce back and kind of get on with life. It's, it's amazing. You know, you, you kind of feel quite ashamed that you've not gotten the strength that they have. You, you know, you actually do. You know,

Helen:

I was going to say to, to finish off our chat, talking of inspiration, you know, you've spent years in your job as a social worker, inspiring others to, to, to be foster carers. You managed to inspire yourself to be a foster carer. Um, if there was anybody listening, who was, who was thinking about it, particularly, as you say, people from different cultures, how, how would you encourage them to? to, you know, to take the leap really and to do it. I think

Nazia:

being a foster carer itself is a worry for some, you know, like it's just the kind of the, well, you know, a strange child coming into the home, but the reality of the situation is that You know, if you're a parent and you have, you know, children, or even if you're not a parent, you know, if you're kind of like ethos of as, you know, being an individual is that you would like to help, then that's all you need, you know, everything else you kind of learn along the way. Um, I think. Me working as a social worker has given me a lot of insight, um, and it's helped, but not because not in the way you would think it's helped what it's helped do is, you know, the, the logistics, it helps kind of like navigate through that, but that's not a difficult thing to navigate through. As I said, two of my sisters are foster carers. They've never worked in children's services at all. Um, and you know, they'll ask me. What they need, but so, so long as you've got, um, a supervising social worker who can guide you the essence of the role is just about caring, you know, it's about if you've got space, you've, you know, you've got the time to give that, you know, um, it's just, you know, being, you know, helpful to people. You know, a child really giving them that safe space, uh, giving them that nurture, giving them that support, giving them that, you know, the time that they need because patience is important. So if, you know, if you have that, then that's all you really need and everything else you learn along the way, because there's no kind of set book or there's no set rules. About, well, if you want to be a foster care, you've got to have, it doesn't work like that. I think, you know, you've, to be a foster care, you've just got to be a good person. Um, you've got to care about, um, children or, you know, care about others. And, you know, if that's what we do in all our lives, isn't it? And, you know, and just give them that time and space. You know, it doesn't take a massive amount of, um, skill. It's about the, it's more about emotion. It's about that support, having that patience and, uh, being considerate of another person's needs. Um, and you know, and just helping them get to their goal really, you know, on whatever it takes on the journey. You're on the journey with them, you know, you don't know more than they do. You know, you're learning together. Uh, you're going to build that bridge together. And at the other end, you know, it's, it's lovely. It's, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's an amazing, it's an amazing thing, to be honest, and I think we need, we all, we always need more. We always need more. It's

Helen:

been so wonderful to chat to you today. And as you just finally to sum things up, can you imagine your life without fostering?

Nazia:

No, no, I'm a mother of four children. I've always funnily enough, kind of like, you know, as a pet, as a child growing up, I was the eldest in my family. I have a sibling group of six. So for me, you know, looking after has always been in my nature, you know, and I, and I think that's all you need. You just need to be able to want to care about somebody and, you know, and look after them. So I was looking after my siblings. I was looking after my children. And now that my children are gone, uh, the house is empty. Now I'm looking after. Children, you know, so as long as I can, I will continue, you know, and I, and I love that cause it's not a job to me. That's the thing. It doesn't feel like a job to me. I love doing that. I love cooking. I love, uh, people coming and enjoying time and food and, uh, you know, and it just brightens, it just brightens the home. Doesn't it? It just brings life into the home. Now, you know, I've got lads in, in, in the home and you know, they chat, they chat, you know, and they relax and I, it's just lovely to see. It's

Helen:

been fantastic to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to find out more, head online and search National Fostering Group and make this the year you foster.