Voices of Fostering

Our special episode with Joan Collins

• National Fostering Group • Season 3 • Episode 7

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In this heartfelt episode of Voices of Fostering, we hear the incredible story of Joan, who was placed in foster care shortly after her birth. Joan shares insights into her upbringing with a caring foster mother, the challenges she faced after her foster mother's passing, and the eventual blessing of being taken in by her foster mother's daughter. Joan reflects on the differences in foster care between the 1950s and today, and how her experiences shaped her as a mother to her children, including her well-known daughter, Gemma Collins. Joan also discusses her discovery of her biological family's history and her involvement with  National Fostering Group, advocating for the importance of fostering and providing a loving home to children in need. 

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Helen:

Hello and welcome to this episode of Voices of Fostering, and it's always really powerful on the podcast when we get to speak to people who have been in foster care themselves. So I'm delighted to be joined today by Joan. Hello, Joan. Hello. How are you? I'm all right. How are you? We're a really good thing. Oh, it's so lovely to speak to you. And thank you so much for agreeing to come on the podcast. So you've talked quite a lot in the media recently about your, your past and your upbringing. For anybody who's not aware, can you tell us, Joan, about, you know, what happened to you when you were a baby and, and your upbringing?

Joan:

Basically, I just knew that I was left at the hospital, um, for a couple of weeks. And the hospital looked after me, and fed me, and named me. And then I went out into foster care. Um, I think it was just over two weeks, so. That's all I knew, you know, as growing up, what had, uh, happened to me, so, um, yeah.

Helen:

Yeah, so this was back in 1946, wasn't it? And you were placed with a wonderful foster mother, weren't you? So can you tell us about her?

Joan:

My foster mother, she was like an older lady. And, um, which really, in hindsight now, looking back, um, she was probably too old, in a sense, to take the job on, because she died when I was seven. So, that was a bit of a blow, you know. Cause, um, you know, and I can remember, The day sitting on an armchair and you know when your feet don't touch the floor and I remember the phone call coming through saying that, you know, she died in the hospital. So, yeah, it sort of shakes you up a bit because you're sort of thinking, oh, well, what's going to happen now?

Helen:

Yeah, that must have been really, really difficult to take at that age, Joan. And then what did happen after that? So you're seven years old, your foster mother has died. Where did you go after that?

Joan:

So after that, um, I, uh, my, she had a daughter, Sylvia, and lived at home. With us and she'd got just got married Sylvia. So she actually took me on, um, which was, uh, you know, a blessing really. Cause it was the only home I ever knew from two weeks old. So, um, yeah, she took me, me on, which was an amazing thing to do. But I sort of was their family, you know, like going there at such a young age. Yeah. I've sort of been there from the start, you know? So, I can remember thinking, oh, what's going to happen to me and, you know, it was a very scary, scary time because you, you know, back in the day, you wasn't allowed to speak, you know, too much and that, you know, like.

Helen:

Yeah, so foster care now, Joan, is quite different, isn't it, to what foster care was like, you know, in the 40s and 50s. How do you think it's changed? Well, to be

Joan:

honest,

Helen:

I

Joan:

don't, unless the subject's brought up, I don't really think too much about it, to be honest with you. Um, but it must be all different, like today, you know, from the fifties, how they do stuff today, but it's getting the right, the right kids with the right people, I think, you know, they've got to be the right people to do the job, you know, where they go into a loving family and, um, You know, that, that's all, all they need, really. So,

Helen:

recently, Joan, you found out about your biological family, didn't you? Can you tell us about that?

Joan:

Yeah, well, that was just amazing. Because I knew nothing of my mother's, at all, side to the family. Um, I only saw my mother three times a year. She'd come to visit, but she was like a stranger to me because I'd not been brought up with her. So it was like this strange lady had come down to see me. But it actually didn't mean nothing to me because my foster mother was my mother. So when you're little, you're, you know, it's, that's how I sort of looked at it. And she come down to see me. It didn't stay long and just bought me sweets and that. And, um, so I remember she bought, um, a, it was, it eps, they were called a 45, um, record. And it was, was a Rolling Stones.

Helen:

Oh wow. And

Joan:

honky tonk woman. And if you know it face in your mind Yeah. And uh, she, she put it on. So I remember that. I thought that was weird, but, um,

Helen:

And finding out, Joan, about, you know, the reasons behind the decisions that your biological mother made when you were born, has that helped you?

Joan:

Oh yeah, it's closed a lot of doors, because back in the day they didn't, To get the help then that there's around today, um, you know, I think there was a lot more help and they probably do things different. Back then, they didn't really get any help, you know, mental health help. You were sort of shut away. And um, and that was it, sort of, locked up and got on with it sort of thing. But knowing what, like, you know, her parents didn't probably have the space. Um, for my mom and what have you, you know, so, um, it was just so different back then, wasn't it? Yeah.

Helen:

There was a lot more stigma, wasn't there, Joan? Really around things like mental health and, and also things like foster care, you know, it wasn't as openly spoken about and understood as it is now. That's it. It's, um, and how has, has, growing up in foster care and the experiences that you've been through yourself, how has that affected you as a mother? Has it, has it positively affected the way you, you brought Gemma up? Yeah.

Joan:

Yeah. It, it's made me who I am today.

Helen:

Yeah.

Joan:

You know, it was the best thing that could happen to me. You know, I'm one of the lucky ones. And, um, yeah, it's the best thing that could have happened. And because it shaped me into the person I am, and I wanted things to be so different for my own two children. Um, you know, I wanted them to have, you know, a loving family and be there for them all the time, you know, cook them lovely dinners, um, everything. I love being a mother. Uh, Loved it. Loved washing, washed, uh, loved ironing, cooking. All what went with being a mum, I loved it all.

Helen:

Yeah,

Joan:

so you So I enjoyed it. And, um, yeah. Yeah, it's definitely molded me who I am today as a person.

Helen:

Yeah, so obviously you have, you have two children and obviously we all know who, who Gemma is, um, tell us about, you know, what it was like to, to see your daughter, you know, become such a big celebrity. What was that like for you?

Joan:

Well, I always knew that Gemma was going to be famous, actually. Oh really? She was so different. Yeah. From the age of five, she was, There was, she was going to be famous and that was it. Because she was so different to every other child. And um, you know, she's literally done everything Gemma. So I used to take her everywhere, do everything. She's done the lot. And, um, yeah, it's just been unbelievable, really. You know, you could spot Gemma. You know, I might be standing outside Selfridges, say, as an instance. And I'd look down the road thinking, where is she? I was meeting her outside, obviously, and there's thousands of people. And then you could see her walking towards me out of thousands of people. I mean, who would spot, you wouldn't spot anyone in loads of crowded, you know, streets, sort of. Um, but she always had this presence, Gemma, that you would spot her a mile away, you know. And, um, yeah, so I'll always remember that day, actually. Yeah, and you must feel very proud of her and her

Helen:

achievements.

Joan:

Oh, yeah. I'm really proud. I'm proud of both my children. Yeah, they've both been on CV, both done there. They're bits and bobs and they've just loved it, you know, they've both been brought up going to like drama stores and that.

Helen:

But

Joan:

it's actually, every day gets a drama with us, so, something always happens.

Helen:

Joan, can you tell us You know when you could

Joan:

have cameras on you all day.

Helen:

Yeah. So can you tell us what TOWIE was like and were you involved much in, in TOWIE? Oh yeah. Yeah, I was in

Joan:

TOWIE for Um, eight years. Yeah. Because Gemma went in the second series and then I went in the third series. I did want over to, I I preferred to cooking for the crew and making tea and that sort of thing.

Helen:

Yeah.

Joan:

But I cooked protein into it, so I was in it for the rest of the time. About eight years I was in Sowe, but it was. It was the most amazing experience ever, you know, I loved it, but I used to love really looking after whoever come in the house, uh, doing the cooking and making sure they were alright. And they said, no, come out and Do a, you know, show us around your garden and all the rest of it. And then I got sort of encouraged to go in here. So yeah, it was quite an amazing, it's an experience I won't ever forget.

Helen:

It

Joan:

was an amazing experience.

Helen:

What's it been like to share the experience with your children of finding out about your biological family?

Joan:

Um, well it's been great for them because they get to know their history. I mean if I hadn't found this out. A document that where they could look back and get into all my records, you know, like, um, cause I was like a foster child. Um, so this piece of document held the key to everything, you know, and, um, so they could find out everything, but the kids get to know their history, where they come from. And, like, we actually come from the worst street in Spitalfields, which was, back in the day, Dalston Street, and it was the worst street in the country. Um, you know, Jack the Ripper lived there. Um, you know, he might have even been our neighbour, who knows? And, um, yeah, when you see pictures back in the day, that could have been one of our, our, our family, you know? Our relatives, um, that was in the picture because they went back to the 17th century.

Helen:

Yeah.

Joan:

So, we come from Foulneth to Spitterfield, Dorset Street, and there was 36, I think, lived in one room of our family back then.

Helen:

And then

Joan:

they obviously all bettered their self, you know, from that street. It's not there anymore, the street. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to know you're part of history and, you know, if the kids ever want to, they know where they're from and that's, you know, an important thing, knowing where you're from really, knowing who your family was.

Helen:

Yeah, absolutely. It can be incredibly validating and healing, can't it, Joan, to understand your roots and your history.

Joan:

Yeah, that's it. It's just, I mean, your roots, isn't

Helen:

it?

Joan:

Mm. But I've always felt close to Spitalfields Market. Um, I thought, oh right, Spitalfields Market. It was on the 13th, Market, uh, there. And it's really good fun. And, um. All the antiques and that, all the street food. And yeah, it's like really buzzing, but I've always lived my life around that area, which I find funny, really, you know, you're drawn to an area. where you, you enjoy and you feel comfortable with, you know.

Helen:

You've been doing some work now with, with the National Fostering Group. Why was it important for you to do that, Joan?

Joan:

Well, it's just to get the word out there, isn't it? There's so many children that need fostering. That need, you just gotta have that spare room. Just giving a child a home is just so rewarding. And you know, it's an amazing, it's an amazing thing to do. And so there's so many kids out there that, you know, to grow up in a family, it sort of moulds your life, doesn't it?

Helen:

Yeah, and there'll be people listening now, Joan, who might be considering becoming a foster carer. As somebody yourself whose, whose, you know, life was, was massively positively affected by being fostered as a baby, what would you say to anybody who was thinking about doing it?

Joan:

Oh, 100 percent do it. Give a lovely little foster baby a home, you know, it's just an amazing thing. You know, why not? There's so many people out there that probably find it hard to have kids as well. So, and so many babies out there that want homes. Yeah. So, it's just, be an amazing thing to do. Yeah,

Helen:

because you were fostered by, you know, your lovely foster mother when you were a baby. How grateful do you feel to her, Joan, for what she did for you?

Joan:

Oh yeah, just so grateful, so grateful. You never forget it, you know, that someone's done that for you, you know. You don't, you don't forget it. I was brought up in the church, which was a lovely, they were lovely memories. But everything back in the day was revolved around the church, everything happened at the church, any parties and stuff like that, you know, and they used to have jumble sows and yeah, I remember, you know, everything, little dance, uh, uh, classes and. Yeah, it all happened at the church and the vicar used to have, um, uh, animal suns for the animals. Everyone used to take their animals to the church and he'd do a, a SUNY surface for 'em, so you'd get horses, sheep, cats, dogs, fish. Everyone saw everything I had. And, uh, he'd do a little service. How sweet is that? So they're my memories, you know? And, um, yeah. There's so many memories.

Helen:

Oh, well, Joan, it's been so wonderful to speak to you today. Thank you so, so much for agreeing to chat to us. And thank you for being part of the, uh, uh, the campaign with the National Fostering Group.

Joan:

Yeah. Hope it's been helpful anyway. Thank you so much, Joan. Thank you. Nice

Helen:

to see you. Bye bye. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Voices of Fostering. If you'd like to get involved in the conversation, we would love to hear your questions. Maybe there's something you'd really like to ask about fostering, get in touch. You can email us on podcast at nfa. co. uk.