Voices of Fostering
Voices of Fostering brought to you by National Fostering Group.
Everyone’s life takes a different path. As children and young people decisions can be made for us that shape our lives forever – whether for good or bad. As adults, we have the opportunity to make our own choices. And what we choose can have a positive impact on us and the world around us. Particularly if one of those choices is fostering. When you listen to the stories of children and young people whose lives have been touched by foster carers, you start to see the impact that fostering can have. When you decide to foster, it’s hard to imagine just how big a difference you could make. Not just to the young people you foster, but rippling out into countless other lives. Your choice to foster could transform the life chances of some of the most vulnerable people in society. In this podcast, you’ll hear young people who were fostered, birth children and foster carers talking openly and candidly about their experiences. You’ll get to understand why fostering can be simultaneously the most rewarding and the most challenging thing you’ll ever do and why embarking on this extraordinary journey changes people forever. If you’ve ever been curious about what it really means to foster, what difference it really makes, you’ll find the answers here.
Voices of Fostering
Jenna and Craig - We foster babies!
In this episode, you will meet Jenna and Craig, who foster alongside their 9-year-old daughter. Together for 15 years and married for 5, both Jenna and Craig wanted to pursue fostering to make a difference. Jenna and Craig primarily foster babies, and in this episode, they discuss the assessment process, the children moving on, and their hopes for the future.
If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.
If you have any questions that you would like to be answered on our next episode email podcast@nfa.co.uk
You can also follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin and YouTube
1
00:00:00,170 --> 00:00:05,390
Right, so Jenna and Craig, let's start
by talking a bit about you guys
2
00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:10,046
and you know, how long you've been
together and, and your life before
3
00:00:10,148 --> 00:00:12,878
fostering. So, yeah, tell us a little
bit about that.
4
00:00:12,964 --> 00:00:19,182
Yeah, so we've been together about 1415
years now. Wow. We've been married five
5
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:23,390
years. Yeah, we got married in Vegas
five years ago. Yeah. Which was great.
6
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:29,094
We've got our in birthdaughter. Her. She's
nine. Yeah, jump in.
7
00:00:29,132 --> 00:00:34,440
Yeah, well, we met on a night
out through mutual, mutual friends
8
00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:37,958
and then we just kind of went
from there. We went out a couple
9
00:00:37,964 --> 00:00:41,362
of times, didn't we? And it just
kind of spiralled. You still remember the
10
00:00:41,436 --> 00:00:45,098
first film we went to see what
was, oh, it.
11
00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:47,706
Was a scary film and he doesn't
like scary films either. So it was
12
00:00:47,728 --> 00:00:52,886
definitely my choice. It was Renee's
elwigger. Yeah, Renee's elwiger in it. But
13
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,026
yeah, it was definitely my choice.
14
00:00:54,058 --> 00:01:00,478
Wasn't, was, you know, a family and
having young people and children always on
15
00:01:00,484 --> 00:01:03,658
the cards for you guys. Is it
what you both always wanted?
16
00:01:03,844 --> 00:01:09,406
Yeah, I mean, I think we always
knew we wanted children. We had Riley
17
00:01:09,438 --> 00:01:14,434
before we got married and things like
that. And I think you wanted more
18
00:01:14,472 --> 00:01:20,690
children than one. But yeah, we were
happy with one. She was first grandchild,
19
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:26,358
granddaughter. So spoiled rotten. But
yeah, we definitely always thought we
20
00:01:26,364 --> 00:01:31,466
wanted a family and I've always worked
with children, so definitely wanted to
21
00:01:31,488 --> 00:01:33,386
have children in our family.
22
00:01:33,488 --> 00:01:36,938
I think from my point of view,
it was like when we got together,
23
00:01:37,104 --> 00:01:41,020
we very quickly went on our first
holiday, very quickly moved in together.
24
00:01:41,630 --> 00:01:46,606
Within twelve months we were living
together. And I knew it was always
25
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:49,278
going to spiral into having a family
and that was always going to be
26
00:01:49,284 --> 00:01:53,614
the goal, to have a family. Yeah,
I think at the time we did
27
00:01:53,652 --> 00:01:58,340
say we'd like to have more children,
but I think as time went on,
28
00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:01,826
we just like, no, we're going to
put it off. We didn't want to
29
00:02:01,848 --> 00:02:06,546
have so close together. And then as
Riley got older, we were kind of
30
00:02:06,568 --> 00:02:10,840
like, no, we're happy with the way
it is and the setup we've got.
31
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:15,702
And it wasn't until about what she
got about six or seven, we started
32
00:02:15,756 --> 00:02:18,018
thinking about moving into fostering.
33
00:02:18,114 --> 00:02:22,634
So fostering is a relatively new thing
for you guys, 18 months, is it?
34
00:02:22,752 --> 00:02:25,820
So tell us about how that came
about then.
35
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:30,378
I think the way I remember it,
and you might change the story a
36
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:35,214
bit, but the way I remember it
was during the pandemic and the things
37
00:02:35,252 --> 00:02:38,830
about having another child kind of cropped
back up and we both decided that
38
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:42,894
we didn't want to go through the
whole having another child and going down
39
00:02:42,932 --> 00:02:47,314
to you being pregnant and things like
that again, but we wanted to see
40
00:02:47,352 --> 00:02:51,298
what we could do with children, as
in, can we care for someone? We
41
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:56,018
looked at adoption, we'll be good for
adoption. And then that's when the
42
00:02:56,024 --> 00:03:00,806
fostering came up. So pretty much we
had a little google, then we were
43
00:03:00,828 --> 00:03:06,374
like, very quickly, we'd applied with
fostering solutions and we got a phone
44
00:03:06,412 --> 00:03:11,786
call back quite quickly. And the process
started, didn't it? And everyone was just
45
00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:16,890
lovely. Everyone you spoke to about it
was just really supportive.
46
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,842
We never felt that we didn't have
enough information. We were always given
47
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:25,358
as much information. Anything we asked was
answered and we just felt like it
48
00:03:25,364 --> 00:03:26,558
was right for us.
49
00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:30,030
And can you remember how that felt
at the beginning where you're like, oh,
50
00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:35,258
you've just started this protest, the
balls started rolling. How did you feel?
51
00:03:35,444 --> 00:03:39,486
I think we were nervous, weren't we?
I think as well, with the pandemic.
52
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:44,306
So I work as a dance teacher,
my own school, work as head of
53
00:03:44,328 --> 00:03:48,994
a school. And with the pandemic, obviously
everything closed down, so we had more
54
00:03:49,032 --> 00:03:52,278
time to think about it. Then I
wasn't working as much. I was doing
55
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:56,342
online classes and things. And we just
thought, this is the right time now.
56
00:03:56,396 --> 00:04:00,230
And we looked into the adoption and
I said, no, I think fostering. And
57
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:05,082
we knew people who had fostered as
well, and we just wanted to help
58
00:04:05,136 --> 00:04:08,486
as many people, as many children as
we could, really, and thought that's
59
00:04:08,518 --> 00:04:11,814
probably the right way to go about
it. And I think we were nervous
60
00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:16,206
because we were thinking, how is it
going to impact our lives? Are we
61
00:04:16,228 --> 00:04:20,558
going to have to stop working? Are
we going to reduce hours?
62
00:04:20,724 --> 00:04:23,566
Yeah, I think partway through the process,
you start thinking as well. Is it
63
00:04:23,588 --> 00:04:28,526
right for me? Because you start going,
how is it going to impact us?
64
00:04:28,628 --> 00:04:32,082
And you start overthinking it, overthink a
little bit, but you kind of pass
65
00:04:32,136 --> 00:04:34,178
through that and, you know, this is
what I want to do and this
66
00:04:34,184 --> 00:04:39,878
is the right thing. So then you're
like 100% full steam going into it,
67
00:04:39,884 --> 00:04:40,342
aren't you?
68
00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:40,566
Yeah.
69
00:04:40,588 --> 00:04:44,390
So you started that process with fostering
solutions. So what happened next, then?
70
00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:49,418
What was the assessment process like? How
long did it take? Tell us a
71
00:04:49,424 --> 00:04:50,380
bit about that.
72
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,418
It was about nine months in total,
wasn't it?
73
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:59,930
I think it can be quicker. Obviously,
they look at your background.
74
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:05,246
It's not just about you, it's about
your family, and they interview members of
75
00:05:05,268 --> 00:05:11,870
your family. And they go into your
history as well. It was nice. Sometimes
76
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,054
you really got to know.
77
00:05:13,172 --> 00:05:16,610
I was going to say, one main
memory I've got of the process was
78
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,602
we spent about 6 hours on a
Zoom meeting with the lady who was
79
00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:25,766
going through our assessment with us, and
it was dedicated, like two and a
80
00:05:25,768 --> 00:05:29,074
half, 3 hours each of your history,
your background, how you were with your
81
00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:32,278
grandparents, how you were with your
parents, what you remember from when you
82
00:05:32,284 --> 00:05:36,326
were growing up. And it's strange because
Jenna said you could sit and listen
83
00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:38,694
to it for ages. So I spent
like two and a half to 3
84
00:05:38,732 --> 00:05:42,954
hours listening to what she was saying
about growing up. And it's stuff like
85
00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:47,354
that you probably don't speak about
normally. You might get snippets or like
86
00:05:47,392 --> 00:05:50,986
little family stories and stuff like that,
but sit and listen to a full
87
00:05:51,008 --> 00:05:53,770
3 hours, you pick up all kinds.
88
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:57,726
Did you feel that was quite a
nice sort of bonding process for you
89
00:05:57,748 --> 00:06:00,960
as a married couple to learn things
in a way?
90
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,626
There were times you were crying during
that. I remember because you were talking
91
00:06:04,648 --> 00:06:05,220
about.
92
00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:12,594
You're reminiscing. When we. Granddad, I
was very close with my granddad. You
93
00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:16,366
talk about memories that you had before.
He's passed away now, so it brings
94
00:06:16,398 --> 00:06:20,486
all these emotions to the surface as
well. But as well, I said to
95
00:06:20,508 --> 00:06:23,778
you, I feel like I've learned so
much about you because, not that you're
96
00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:25,826
a closed person, but you don't.
97
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,978
Yeah, I think it's things like my
grandparents had all died by the time
98
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:33,866
I'd met Jenna, so I'd never spoke
about them because she'd never met them.
99
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:37,274
So I was having to go into
that then about talking about their
100
00:06:37,312 --> 00:06:43,146
backgrounds. My nan on my mum's side
was born in Ireland and moved over,
101
00:06:43,248 --> 00:06:46,606
and the fact that my granddad died
when my mum was a baby and
102
00:06:46,628 --> 00:06:50,766
stuff like that, so it's stuff that
I'd never spoken. She didn't even know
103
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:55,422
my nan was irish. But it's just
little things, little family history that
104
00:06:55,476 --> 00:06:56,126
comes up.
105
00:06:56,228 --> 00:07:00,546
And did that feel like quite a
healing process, really, for you both, in
106
00:07:00,568 --> 00:07:01,538
a way, yeah.
107
00:07:01,704 --> 00:07:04,914
You just get to know more about
each other and you can understand probably
108
00:07:04,952 --> 00:07:06,838
each other a bit more, I think.
109
00:07:07,004 --> 00:07:07,574
Yeah.
110
00:07:07,692 --> 00:07:13,126
So then after that assessment process, can
you remember the moment that you were
111
00:07:13,148 --> 00:07:18,486
told, this is it, it's happening, you've
been approved. Tell us about that.
112
00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:22,962
Yeah, it was round about my birthday,
wasn't it, as well, in the March
113
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:28,586
1 March? It was the 1 March
1 March, yeah. Because you do like
114
00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:32,282
the training and things like that. But
then when you go to panel and
115
00:07:32,336 --> 00:07:36,046
you get approved, such is a good
feeling, isn't it? You're very proud of
116
00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:37,278
yourself because we.
117
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:41,710
Were just coming out of lockdowns and
the pandemic and stuff, the panel date,
118
00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:46,898
we didn't actually have to attend in
person, so I think we were on
119
00:07:46,904 --> 00:07:51,666
Zoom for about 1520 minutes just talking
to people. We classed them as
120
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:56,242
professionals, someone who was an ex
police officer, someone who'd been through
121
00:07:56,296 --> 00:07:59,782
foster care themselves, people who were
obviously quite knowledgeable about it and
122
00:07:59,836 --> 00:08:04,454
it was a bit intimidating, wasn't it?
But then we got a phone call
123
00:08:04,492 --> 00:08:07,698
about two or 3 hours later and
just said, you've been approved and it's
124
00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:11,046
like this whole weight just lifts, lift.
It's just amazing.
125
00:08:11,148 --> 00:08:14,586
Sorry, synthesiser. It is an intense
process. So I think it is like
126
00:08:14,608 --> 00:08:18,902
that relief as well. But, yeah, we
were very proud of ourselves.
127
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:22,606
Yeah, I think first thing we done,
we went round to the pub around
128
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:27,946
the corner and we got ourselves some
dinner and a little drink to celebrate.
129
00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:33,566
So we had a couple of hours
just having a nice meal together. That
130
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:36,218
was it, wasn't it? And then we
were told it'd be a couple more
131
00:08:36,244 --> 00:08:39,938
weeks till things happen because it's got
to be signed off.
132
00:08:40,024 --> 00:08:40,770
And was it?
133
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,306
Yeah, two to three weeks. But as
soon as we got told it had
134
00:08:44,328 --> 00:08:49,122
been signed, the call started coming and
it was like, we've got a referral,
135
00:08:49,186 --> 00:08:55,062
would you be able to. And it
was scary, wasn't it, at first, because
136
00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:59,846
you having to weigh up, would this
be the right fit? Can I look
137
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:04,458
after this child? So that was a
scary moment, the realisation that, yeah,
138
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,450
I'm doing this now.
139
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:05,706
Yeah.
140
00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:08,746
And what was it like for your
birth daughter as well? Because of course
141
00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:12,906
she's nine. How did she feel about
it all? And was she a big
142
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,602
part of the assessment process?
143
00:09:14,736 --> 00:09:19,854
Oh, yeah. I mean, they did interviews
with her, but the way they went
144
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:24,594
about it as well, they made it
fun. It was like interactive things like
145
00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:29,438
games and activities as they were doing
this discussion rather than just sitting
146
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:35,106
on Zoom and things like that and
talking to the camera. But she's always
147
00:09:35,128 --> 00:09:40,326
been a big part of it and
she's brilliant, isn't she? She really is.
148
00:09:40,428 --> 00:09:43,702
She takes everything in a stride and
I think because she is an only
149
00:09:43,756 --> 00:09:48,006
child as well, she sees the children
that we look after, she sees them
150
00:09:48,028 --> 00:09:52,506
as part of our family and she
takes on that big sister role, which
151
00:09:52,528 --> 00:09:55,834
is so nice to see and she's
so proud of it as well and
152
00:09:55,952 --> 00:10:01,174
she tells people what we do and
she refers to herself as a foster
153
00:10:01,222 --> 00:10:06,346
carer, doesn't she? As well, she says,
but she loves it. She's brilliant.
154
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:10,254
She's just so inquisitive as well. So
during the process, she just asked all
155
00:10:10,292 --> 00:10:13,966
kinds of questions, I think, at the
time as well. Wasn't an advert to
156
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:19,758
come on Christmas. Advert was that just
after we'd been approved? The Christmas
157
00:10:19,774 --> 00:10:26,274
after we got approved, was it John
Lewis's one? She was like, is that
158
00:10:26,312 --> 00:10:30,662
what it's going to be like for
us, asking questions? And she was just
159
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,898
so knowledgeable for such a young child.
She asked the right questions. It wasn't
160
00:10:34,914 --> 00:10:39,718
even a case of, you had to
tell her what we were doing. She
161
00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:43,978
kind of had it in her head
already. It was amazing watching her. And
162
00:10:43,984 --> 00:10:47,386
I've always said she amazes me all
the time when you see the way
163
00:10:47,408 --> 00:10:51,886
she interacts with the children and the
way she makes friends and stuff like
164
00:10:51,908 --> 00:10:55,342
that. But, yeah, she just took it
all in a stride, like Jenna said.
165
00:10:55,396 --> 00:10:58,000
So what was that first placement like
then?
166
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:04,354
A whirlwind. That's a great word to
use of. I remember getting a phone
167
00:11:04,392 --> 00:11:10,226
call about a referral and we were
told it was on the Friday, but
168
00:11:10,248 --> 00:11:13,234
we were told we wouldn't know till
the Monday whether the child would need
169
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:18,706
placing because it had to go into
court. So I'd actually worked a night
170
00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:22,214
shift on the Sunday night, I remember,
and then getting woken up at about
171
00:11:22,252 --> 00:11:24,966
11:00 in the morning. And you got
a phone call around the same time,
172
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:25,286
didn't you?
173
00:11:25,308 --> 00:11:29,798
Yeah. I was working as. I'd stepped
into work as a ta, as a
174
00:11:29,804 --> 00:11:33,098
cover. So I was in the school
working, wasn't I? And I got the
175
00:11:33,104 --> 00:11:35,740
phone call when I was on my
break. So it was all a bit.
176
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:42,538
We were basically told the placement they
had in mind for us wasn't going
177
00:11:42,544 --> 00:11:46,574
to go ahead, but we had another
one, which was emergency. Would we be
178
00:11:46,612 --> 00:11:50,960
interested? And it was two little girls
who were just under three months old,
179
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:55,806
so we were kind of like, we
can't say no. Sudden just hit us.
180
00:11:55,828 --> 00:12:00,366
It was like, we can't say no
to this. And by 04:00 that afternoon,
181
00:12:00,398 --> 00:12:03,742
they were in the house with us.
And it was just that, say, whirlwind.
182
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,954
It was like, okay, what do we
do? What do we need to do?
183
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:11,366
And I think because it was twins,
we kept everything from our daughter. So
184
00:12:11,388 --> 00:12:17,542
we had one thing of everything. It
was a rush trying to get another
185
00:12:17,596 --> 00:12:21,946
set of everything. Car seats and a
double pram and things like that, all
186
00:12:21,968 --> 00:12:23,062
the extra bits and bobs.
187
00:12:23,126 --> 00:12:29,034
But friends and family was so supportive.
Yeah, we obviously rang. Your mum was
188
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:33,246
the first one we rang and she
came around straight after work just to
189
00:12:33,268 --> 00:12:39,742
help us out. And then some of
the friends of Riley's school friends,
190
00:12:39,796 --> 00:12:43,646
their mums, they knew what we were
doing. You spoke to a couple and
191
00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:46,578
they were like, we've still got stuff,
because a lot of them sort of
192
00:12:46,584 --> 00:12:49,700
school parents, they still have young
children themselves. They have stuff about
193
00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:54,546
stuff for you, just stuff to tide
you over while you get set up
194
00:12:54,568 --> 00:12:59,880
with them. And it was brilliant. And
the two girls were unbelievable as well.
195
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:05,590
It was an amazing experience, something
that you'd. Although we said we'd foster,
196
00:13:06,170 --> 00:13:10,326
we probably hadn't took on board how
much it had impact us in that
197
00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:14,026
way and how much you'd care for
them, especially because they were just
198
00:13:14,048 --> 00:13:15,274
under three months when they come to
us.
199
00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:15,466
Yeah.
200
00:13:15,488 --> 00:13:21,194
So did you expect to get babies
or did you know what age you
201
00:13:21,232 --> 00:13:25,130
wanted to foster, or was babies a
surprise?
202
00:13:25,210 --> 00:13:28,606
I think the only thing we'd said
was secondary school age was probably the
203
00:13:28,628 --> 00:13:34,514
only thing where we'd think about because
of our daughter's age, with her being
204
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:39,906
in junior school. But we weren't expecting
baby babies, I think. So that was
205
00:13:39,928 --> 00:13:40,878
a bit of a surprise.
206
00:13:40,974 --> 00:13:46,322
Yeah. We did say we would look
at fostering primary school age children
207
00:13:46,376 --> 00:13:51,218
again, like Craig said, just taking into
consideration Riley's age, and we haven't
208
00:13:51,234 --> 00:13:54,358
got any teenagers in our family or
anything like that, so you've got to
209
00:13:54,364 --> 00:13:59,686
think about that. But then it never
really crossed our minds about having
210
00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:00,674
babies.
211
00:14:00,802 --> 00:14:02,058
Going back to the feeding of a.
212
00:14:02,064 --> 00:14:03,002
Night and stuff like that.
213
00:14:03,056 --> 00:14:06,474
What was that like? I mean, it
had been seven or eight years since
214
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:11,814
you'd done that. What was that like,
going back to having a newborn babies?
215
00:14:11,942 --> 00:14:14,890
Well, it didn't last very long. The
first few nights were a bit difficult
216
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,894
because one of the babies wasn't well
when they come to us. So I
217
00:14:18,932 --> 00:14:21,598
actually had to go into work and
you phoned me and said, I'm going
218
00:14:21,604 --> 00:14:24,478
to have to go to the hospital
with her, which wasn't great. So the
219
00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:28,978
first few nights, you were in and
out of all the hay and it
220
00:14:28,984 --> 00:14:32,238
was actually your birthday, wasn't it? A
couple of days after. So you'd spent
221
00:14:32,254 --> 00:14:36,866
the night in Alderhei and then come
home for your birthday, hadn't you? But
222
00:14:37,048 --> 00:14:41,846
the two girls, very quickly they settled
and they slept through the night and
223
00:14:41,868 --> 00:14:46,886
we were like, this doesn't seem right.
This isn't like having two babies, but
224
00:14:46,908 --> 00:14:50,326
yet they wouldn't wake up. They'd go
to bed at 08:00 at night and
225
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:51,530
wake up at 08:00 next morning.
226
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:51,978
Wow.
227
00:14:52,064 --> 00:14:57,466
And they were just an absolute dream
to have. But, yeah, I think the
228
00:14:57,488 --> 00:15:01,562
hardest part about having it is it
was like the contact side of it.
229
00:15:01,616 --> 00:15:05,034
So you'd have contact with parents each
day. So it was difficult for us
230
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:08,538
then to start trying to get a
routine where we were like, okay, you're
231
00:15:08,554 --> 00:15:11,326
going to have to do today, I'll
have to do tomorrow, or you might
232
00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:14,126
have to do the pickup and I'll
do the drop off. So it was
233
00:15:14,148 --> 00:15:17,586
trying to balance everything around,
especially with picking Riley up from
234
00:15:17,608 --> 00:15:20,290
school as well. So that juggling was
the hard part.
235
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,950
Yeah. Well, I think once we got
used to that, though, you do settle.
236
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:28,002
It's like a new routine, then isn't
know. We did settle into it pretty
237
00:15:28,056 --> 00:15:28,706
quickly.
238
00:15:28,888 --> 00:15:32,006
And you do look back at times
go, how did we do that? But
239
00:15:32,028 --> 00:15:34,678
you do, you make it work. And
it didn't seem like it was an
240
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:39,510
effort in the end, it was brilliant.
And literally, the support we had from
241
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:43,926
the agency working with foster solutions,
it was like our supervisor, social worker,
242
00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:46,186
was constantly on the phone to us.
How are you getting on? She'd come
243
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:50,530
out and do her visits, and she'd
help us out. But even hair managers
244
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:54,538
and the other people in the office,
they knew who we were, and they'd
245
00:15:54,554 --> 00:16:01,134
ask questions all the time how he's
getting on. Especially Naomi, who's our
246
00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:05,294
supervising social workers manager. She'd
be on the phone. She'd come out
247
00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:10,538
if our social workers wasn't available.
Yeah, Naomi would come out, and plenty
248
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:13,186
of times she'd been in our house
as well, doing catch ups and making
249
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:15,986
sure we're okay. And you felt like
you had support?
250
00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:16,450
Yeah.
251
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:20,598
You never felt by yourself or if
you had any worries about anything, there
252
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,006
was always someone there to help you?
253
00:16:22,028 --> 00:16:25,638
Yeah. Not for 1 minute. I mean,
the first month was a bit difficult
254
00:16:25,724 --> 00:16:32,458
with parents being. Not having children in
care before, so
255
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:36,634
they were trying to get used to
not having the children with them. So
256
00:16:36,672 --> 00:16:40,074
there was some difficulty around that. But
the support we got to get through
257
00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:43,518
it, especially being new foster carers and
not knowing what to do at the
258
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:47,838
time, we were supported so much, and
then we had family and friends as
259
00:16:47,844 --> 00:16:52,734
well. We were always there. So I
think we just. Once that first month
260
00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:55,566
was out the way, we kind of
breezed through it, and it became the
261
00:16:55,588 --> 00:16:58,334
norm. And then 13 months down the
line.
262
00:16:58,372 --> 00:17:00,494
Yeah, I was going to say. So
how long did you have the twins
263
00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:01,266
for then?
264
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:04,354
So it was 13 months in total.
We got a lot of the first
265
00:17:04,392 --> 00:17:05,826
milestones with them, which was.
266
00:17:05,848 --> 00:17:06,542
It was lovely.
267
00:17:06,606 --> 00:17:06,786
Yeah.
268
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:11,974
It's lovely to see walking as well.
Yeah. And it's funny when you think
269
00:17:12,012 --> 00:17:15,926
back, even, like, I remember the first
time one of them smiled at me
270
00:17:15,948 --> 00:17:20,534
and you remember those little moments and
things, and we put together a sort
271
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:24,586
of memory book and photographs and tried
to write their memories and their
272
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,866
milestones in that book as well, so
they had that to look back on
273
00:17:27,888 --> 00:17:34,190
when they're older. But, yeah, we had
a lot of face crawling, walking face
274
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:36,670
tooth. It was lovely.
275
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:41,886
And one thing that people do talk
about going into fostering, I think a
276
00:17:41,908 --> 00:17:46,834
big reservation is how do you give
a child back? How do you move
277
00:17:46,872 --> 00:17:49,700
them on? How do you do that?
278
00:17:50,230 --> 00:17:54,434
Difficulty. Yeah, it is difficult. And so
you can't shy away from it, especially
279
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:58,086
when you've got a child with you
for that long, and especially from such
280
00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:02,150
a young age as well, because you
do see all the first milestones. They
281
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:08,600
see you as their caregiver, because they
don't know different. So
282
00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:12,406
to them, you are everything at that
point, because you're the one that feeds
283
00:18:12,438 --> 00:18:16,938
them, changes them, looks after them when
they're not feeling well, especially as a
284
00:18:16,944 --> 00:18:21,546
baby, you've got to cuddle the baby
because that's what they want. They want
285
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:26,126
arms. So it's hard to do hard
for us as well.
286
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:29,022
But I don't think we realise how
hard it'd be for our families, too,
287
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:35,934
because our families are so, like, my
nan is really involved
288
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:40,290
with helping us with fostering. They've
been through their own assessment process
289
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:45,382
as well, and I think we didn't
realise how much that would impact them,
290
00:18:45,436 --> 00:18:51,382
too, when the girls were ready to
move on, because they are the part
291
00:18:51,516 --> 00:18:57,126
of your family, but when you're actually
going through. So we transitioned the
292
00:18:57,148 --> 00:19:01,338
girls through to adoption, and it's when
you see them with their new family,
293
00:19:01,424 --> 00:19:06,522
that's when you realise, that's what I'm
doing it for. We've been a part
294
00:19:06,576 --> 00:19:09,350
of that positive.
295
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,690
Building block in their journey.
296
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:16,718
They're so happy and it's like, that's
their life set up now, and, you
297
00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:19,710
know, they're going to be loved and
everything's brilliant for them. But,
298
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:24,386
yeah, there was a moment during the
transition where they'd gone out for the
299
00:19:24,408 --> 00:19:28,434
day with the adoptive parents and we
sat down just to pack some stuff
300
00:19:28,472 --> 00:19:34,180
away to get, you know. And the
house. The house was deadly silent because
301
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:37,058
Riley had gone to school as well.
So it was just us two in
302
00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:41,158
the house for the change. And it
was like, what do we do? We
303
00:19:41,164 --> 00:19:44,326
were literally packing clothes away
because they were leaving us, like two
304
00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:48,566
days later. And you had a real
moment where you just broke down in
305
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:53,046
tears, didn't you? But, yeah, it was
difficult. On the day he went was
306
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:56,486
really, obviously really difficult. They
come round to pick them up and
307
00:19:56,508 --> 00:20:00,360
they're such lovely people. And they were
like the.
308
00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:18,046
Because you were upset, Riley was upset.
So I'm trying to not get upset
309
00:20:18,078 --> 00:20:23,666
myself. So Riley didn't get too emotional.
But I think the next three or
310
00:20:23,688 --> 00:20:28,470
four days after that were very difficult.
But as part of the transition process,
311
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,510
you do still have to go and
see them for a few weeks afterwards.
312
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:37,334
Which worked well, because we got to
see where they were living and how
313
00:20:37,372 --> 00:20:43,578
they'd settled into their routine. So that
was great, wasn't it? And it was
314
00:20:43,584 --> 00:20:47,018
good for Riley to see that they
were okay and that's their life and
315
00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:48,906
things like that, as know.
316
00:20:49,008 --> 00:20:49,514
Yeah.
317
00:20:49,632 --> 00:20:55,130
And the massively positive impact that
you'd had on that. That must feel
318
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,110
really rewarding and really satisfying for
you, doesn't it?
319
00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:02,526
It is. Because people tell you all
the time while you're going through the
320
00:21:02,548 --> 00:21:07,054
whole placement, when you have your
reviews, when you have visits, no matter
321
00:21:07,092 --> 00:21:09,394
who the social worker is, whether it's
from the council or where it's from
322
00:21:09,432 --> 00:21:12,962
the agency you work for, they'll come
and tell you how well you're doing.
323
00:21:13,096 --> 00:21:16,706
But you take it in your stride
and you go, okay, yeah, because no
324
00:21:16,728 --> 00:21:20,998
one's ever good at taking the compliments.
And then it's not until afterwards you
325
00:21:21,004 --> 00:21:25,014
go, do you know what the development
them girls had with us? I'm actually
326
00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:30,102
proud of myself for doing it. But,
yeah, they're just unbelievable. Two
327
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:34,234
unbelievable girls who are going to have
such a lovely life. And it's great
328
00:21:34,272 --> 00:21:37,050
to have been part of that for
the first twelve months or so.
329
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:39,690
And at the end of a placement,
as you say, you get that chance
330
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:43,594
to sort of pause and look back
and go, wow, we've done a good
331
00:21:43,632 --> 00:21:44,250
job there.
332
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,566
Well, we definitely said we were having
a break after it because it was
333
00:21:47,588 --> 00:21:50,542
so emotional. And I think it lasted,
what, maybe about six weeks?
334
00:21:50,596 --> 00:21:51,342
Yeah, that was it.
335
00:21:51,396 --> 00:21:55,086
And we were ready. Then we took
a respite placement for a week, just
336
00:21:55,108 --> 00:21:59,650
to kind of test the waters. And
that was a little difficult. Only because
337
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,822
the two boys that we took for
respite, they were at their own routine
338
00:22:03,886 --> 00:22:07,494
and they're coming to a strange house
for a week. But they were such
339
00:22:07,532 --> 00:22:13,702
lovely little boys as well. And you
just couldn't fault the way they were.
340
00:22:13,756 --> 00:22:20,726
Considered everybody this idea of children
in care. But the
341
00:22:20,748 --> 00:22:24,618
children are so lovely and they were
so well behaved. It was just a
342
00:22:24,624 --> 00:22:28,026
strange environment for them. They had to
get used to, as well as always
343
00:22:28,048 --> 00:22:29,162
getting used to them being there.
344
00:22:29,216 --> 00:22:29,578
Yeah.
345
00:22:29,664 --> 00:22:32,346
But that was a weekend. I think
after that we kind of knew. Yeah,
346
00:22:32,368 --> 00:22:33,754
we're ready to do it again.
347
00:22:33,792 --> 00:22:37,440
Yes. You're on your third placement now
and you've got another baby, haven't you?
348
00:22:37,810 --> 00:22:39,902
He was four days old when he
come to us.
349
00:22:39,956 --> 00:22:40,366
Wow.
350
00:22:40,468 --> 00:22:44,878
So that was a strange one. But
when you talk about night feeds and
351
00:22:44,884 --> 00:22:48,866
things like that before, this was a
reverse. It went straight back to three
352
00:22:48,888 --> 00:22:51,858
times a night to start with. So
that was a bit difficult.
353
00:22:52,024 --> 00:22:52,740
Yeah.
354
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:58,934
So both of you work, don't you?
I think sometimes people think when you
355
00:22:58,972 --> 00:23:02,598
foster, that's it, you've got to give
up your career, you've got to completely
356
00:23:02,684 --> 00:23:07,574
change your life. You both work. So
tell us about your careers and how
357
00:23:07,612 --> 00:23:09,740
fostering has sort of fit into those.
358
00:23:10,190 --> 00:23:11,242
I'll let you go first.
359
00:23:11,296 --> 00:23:14,470
Yeah. So I work as a dance
teacher. I've always been involved
360
00:23:14,550 --> 00:23:21,066
performing arts and I work for a
teacher training college part time, and
361
00:23:21,088 --> 00:23:26,446
then I'm head of a school in
the city centre as well. And it
362
00:23:26,468 --> 00:23:32,046
just balances perfectly as well. And it's
great. The children as well. I mean,
363
00:23:32,068 --> 00:23:34,814
when we had the twins, they can
be involved in things like that because
364
00:23:34,852 --> 00:23:38,574
we do things like baby groups and
classes as well, so that was lovely
365
00:23:38,622 --> 00:23:42,900
that we could bring them and get
them involved in what I was doing.
366
00:23:43,670 --> 00:23:48,066
But, yeah, my hours fit perfectly around
and because with it being sort of
367
00:23:48,088 --> 00:23:52,166
self employed, I can balance it and
I can choose when I'm working or
368
00:23:52,188 --> 00:23:57,286
I can change hours. You know, anything
pops up, like a meeting or contact
369
00:23:57,388 --> 00:24:03,226
and things like that, I can always
adjust if needed. But we've also got
370
00:24:03,248 --> 00:24:05,210
that balance, haven't we? Yeah.
371
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,066
And Craig, you work as well.
372
00:24:07,168 --> 00:24:13,146
Yeah. So I've worked in warehousing since
I was 18. I'm in management positions
373
00:24:13,178 --> 00:24:19,406
now, so my sort of role involves.
I can joke about sometimes. It's like
374
00:24:19,428 --> 00:24:25,010
I'm babysitting adults, which it's a lot
more difficult than actually fostering
375
00:24:25,750 --> 00:24:31,746
because adults come with a lot more
different issues, especially in the
376
00:24:31,768 --> 00:24:38,440
workplace. So it kind of tests my
leadership skills a lot when I'm working,
377
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:43,794
which a lot of it transitions into
fostering as well, because I am joking.
378
00:24:43,842 --> 00:24:48,166
I say babysitting adults, but it's like
the way you would deal with a
379
00:24:48,188 --> 00:24:51,926
child of, say, 6789 years of age.
You can actually do that with an
380
00:24:51,948 --> 00:24:54,266
adult, which sounds really strange, but
it's the way you speak to them
381
00:24:54,288 --> 00:24:57,706
when you engage with them. And I
think Jenna gets this a lot because
382
00:24:57,728 --> 00:25:04,430
the way she engages with children, it's
so easy to change that from being
383
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:06,350
in the workplace to actually be in
the home.
384
00:25:06,420 --> 00:25:11,326
Yeah, there's a lot of transferable skills
dealing with conflict or things like that.
385
00:25:11,428 --> 00:25:13,934
You find that really, it crosses over
quite a lot.
386
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:18,722
Yeah, very easy. We talk about being
about self aware. Self awareness is
387
00:25:18,776 --> 00:25:21,906
massive in fostering, because you've got
to know what's going on around you
388
00:25:21,928 --> 00:25:25,106
the whole time and who you're talking
to, what you're saying, but you're also
389
00:25:25,128 --> 00:25:29,398
doing that in the workplace and especially
with children around you. You've got to
390
00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:33,014
be careful of conversations that are going
on, especially between parents and things
391
00:25:33,052 --> 00:25:37,126
like that. And you don't realise how
transferable skills are from your job
392
00:25:37,148 --> 00:25:40,954
within an office, within a warehouse,
within any sort of sports setting. How
393
00:25:40,992 --> 00:25:43,354
transferable is to just looking after a
child.
394
00:25:43,552 --> 00:25:46,906
And when you first went into fostering,
you were thinking about it and you
395
00:25:46,928 --> 00:25:51,014
applied. Did you know, oh, we're going
to have to give up our jobs.
396
00:25:51,062 --> 00:25:53,998
Did you think that your career might
have to change?
397
00:25:54,164 --> 00:25:59,678
I think I personally did, especially.
Yeah, we did have that conversation, I
398
00:25:59,684 --> 00:26:04,274
think, with it being, again with COVID
because I wasn't working, I was like,
399
00:26:04,312 --> 00:26:08,706
it's fine, I'll be the main carer,
I can step back. I don't have
400
00:26:08,728 --> 00:26:14,130
to do as many hours. I can
stop working here. I could stop working
401
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,646
there because you were full time
employees, whereas I was the self
402
00:26:17,688 --> 00:26:22,726
employed. But then once we got the
placement and we realised, no, we can
403
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:28,646
fit things around this. Know you're
working nights and night shift. So I
404
00:26:28,668 --> 00:26:32,646
was with the babies or the children
of the night time, did the night
405
00:26:32,668 --> 00:26:36,938
feed and then, you know, I got
up, maybe take them to contact, and
406
00:26:36,944 --> 00:26:40,394
then Craig could get up after he's
had his sleep and took over. So
407
00:26:40,592 --> 00:26:42,126
we really do fall into that.
408
00:26:42,148 --> 00:26:46,586
Routine and ultimately it was that thing
as well. It was Jenna's career. She'd
409
00:26:46,618 --> 00:26:52,654
worked hard to get to where she
was within the dance world and I
410
00:26:52,692 --> 00:26:55,850
personally didn't want her to give all
that up just because we wanted to
411
00:26:55,860 --> 00:27:01,266
foster together. So it fit perfect, as
she said. And it was for her
412
00:27:01,288 --> 00:27:04,786
to be able to carry on doing
that work that she loves doing as
413
00:27:04,808 --> 00:27:07,960
well as then going to foster and
that we love doing that as well.
414
00:27:08,330 --> 00:27:10,054
It was perfect overall, wasn't it?
415
00:27:10,092 --> 00:27:10,390
Yeah.
416
00:27:10,460 --> 00:27:15,590
Did you feel like through the assessment,
they were always keen for you to
417
00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:18,342
keep your careers, and they wanted to
support you in that?
418
00:27:18,476 --> 00:27:21,766
Definitely, yeah. We did have
conversations during the assessments, not
419
00:27:21,788 --> 00:27:24,986
just between us, but with the people
that were doing the assessment for us,
420
00:27:25,008 --> 00:27:29,194
and they were very supportive and said,
well, this is what you can do.
421
00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:32,614
This is the sort of things that
you can look at, but it's ultimately,
422
00:27:32,662 --> 00:27:36,814
it's down to you. And we were
very honest with each other about it.
423
00:27:36,932 --> 00:27:40,126
As you said, I think it was
the case that it was easier for
424
00:27:40,148 --> 00:27:43,930
you to give up some work, which
ultimately you didn't have to do and
425
00:27:43,940 --> 00:27:46,226
we didn't want you to do. But
if it had to come to.
426
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:52,674
It, they were supportive in explaining to
us that we can
427
00:27:52,712 --> 00:27:57,378
have family who can be assessed, who
can look after the children as and
428
00:27:57,384 --> 00:28:00,774
when we need the little things, because
obviously we still want a little date
429
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:03,926
night or to go the pictures or
something like that. So they were really
430
00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:09,062
great in explaining. Okay, well, if you
name people who you want to look
431
00:28:09,116 --> 00:28:12,934
after the children while you go out,
or say, if Riley had a dance
432
00:28:12,982 --> 00:28:18,378
competition or something like that, and
they did all that process with us
433
00:28:18,544 --> 00:28:22,522
and did the assessment for some of
our family members, and that was great.
434
00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:27,358
And they always feel really supportive as
well when they come and do their
435
00:28:27,364 --> 00:28:32,974
visits and things. Now, if I was
20 years younger, I'd be going through
436
00:28:33,012 --> 00:28:36,080
this. She said she'd be doing it,
wouldn't she?
437
00:28:37,170 --> 00:28:40,734
She always says as well, I don't
know how I'm going to do it.
438
00:28:40,852 --> 00:28:46,134
But she takes it in a stride
as well. And your mom helps out
439
00:28:46,172 --> 00:28:50,486
us, and she's also been approved to
come and look after the children when
440
00:28:50,508 --> 00:28:56,214
we need to go out. And she
loves it as well. It takes time
441
00:28:56,252 --> 00:29:00,646
off them, don't be wrong. But they
love coming to do it and they
442
00:29:00,668 --> 00:29:04,986
do say, well, I'll take them, don't
worry. Anytime you want. And it's been
443
00:29:05,008 --> 00:29:07,062
good for us. It's been good overall.
444
00:29:07,126 --> 00:29:10,140
It's had a positive effect on your
whole family, really.
445
00:29:10,990 --> 00:29:14,806
As Jenna said, we seen that when
the first placement left, how upset they
446
00:29:14,848 --> 00:29:18,606
were. And it wasn't just your nan,
because she looked after them, or your
447
00:29:18,628 --> 00:29:22,286
mom. It was like your brother and
sister. Everyone had to come round, say
448
00:29:22,308 --> 00:29:27,678
goodbye to them. And there was a
point where I think it might have
449
00:29:27,684 --> 00:29:31,266
been your brother come round and he
had to leave, didn't he? Oh, no,
450
00:29:31,288 --> 00:29:36,018
sorry, your sister. Yeah, she had to
leave and we were like, we're the
451
00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:39,598
ones who've been fostering them. How do
you think we feel? But you didn't
452
00:29:39,614 --> 00:29:42,166
realise how much it impacted them and
how much they love the fact that
453
00:29:42,188 --> 00:29:43,080
we do it.
454
00:29:43,530 --> 00:29:47,366
So you're 18 months in now. You're
on your third placement. What do you
455
00:29:47,388 --> 00:29:49,558
see the future looking like? Do you
think you're going to be one of
456
00:29:49,564 --> 00:29:51,774
those couples who are 80.
457
00:29:51,842 --> 00:29:53,434
Going, we've been doing this for years.
458
00:29:53,472 --> 00:29:54,620
And years and years.
459
00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:56,700
We haven't looked that far ahead.
460
00:29:57,550 --> 00:30:00,166
It's funny, though, because we was even
talking about it on the way here
461
00:30:00,208 --> 00:30:04,714
in the car and things like that,
and I would take as many babies
462
00:30:04,762 --> 00:30:11,646
as possible. It's one of them. I
think now, we've been through
463
00:30:11,668 --> 00:30:16,114
that process once with the twins, we
know what to expect, so we feel
464
00:30:16,152 --> 00:30:17,586
so prepared this time.
465
00:30:17,688 --> 00:30:23,538
Not that it gets any. Sorry. Not
that it gets any less difficult. I
466
00:30:23,544 --> 00:30:27,286
think we're more prepared for it so
we know what emotions are going to
467
00:30:27,308 --> 00:30:32,066
come because we have a rough idea
with the placement. We've got what's
468
00:30:32,098 --> 00:30:36,790
coming next and sort of time scales
so we can start preparing ourselves.
469
00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:44,982
When the twins did leave us, we
had a therapeutic service, taps,
470
00:30:45,126 --> 00:30:48,986
which was provided by fostering solutions
as well. And to us, that was
471
00:30:49,008 --> 00:30:54,494
invaluable, wasn't it? That was just
fantastic to have somebody just sit and
472
00:30:54,532 --> 00:30:58,078
listen to you. Because a lot of
the times, I know you said before,
473
00:30:58,164 --> 00:31:02,426
people say, oh, I don't know how
you do it, and they don't. Whereas
474
00:31:02,618 --> 00:31:06,366
Deborah, she just sat and listens. And
just to have someone who we could
475
00:31:06,388 --> 00:31:08,426
just talk to, I still remember.
476
00:31:08,468 --> 00:31:11,362
The first thing she said to us
was, I don't want to know about
477
00:31:11,496 --> 00:31:14,498
daily logs, I don't want to know
about reviews, don't want to know about
478
00:31:14,504 --> 00:31:18,306
this. It's about you and what you're
doing. I'm not there to do this
479
00:31:18,328 --> 00:31:20,486
side of it. I'm there to talk
to you and see what's going on
480
00:31:20,508 --> 00:31:23,718
and offer advice. And that's what she
did. And she sat and listened to
481
00:31:23,724 --> 00:31:27,894
us for about five or six weeks.
Yeah, it was like literally every week
482
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:30,246
for a couple of hours, five or
six weeks in the build up to
483
00:31:30,268 --> 00:31:34,218
the girls going. And it prepared us
so much and helped us out.
484
00:31:34,304 --> 00:31:34,602
Yes.
485
00:31:34,656 --> 00:31:38,250
You feel like you really do get
that emotional support. It's not just box
486
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,660
ticking and admin, you really get support.
487
00:31:42,990 --> 00:31:47,566
You can tell by the conversation you're
having when someone's engaged with what
488
00:31:47,588 --> 00:31:52,670
you're saying, you get that instant
feedback from them. And you knew she
489
00:31:52,740 --> 00:31:55,602
just had our best interest at heart
when she sit and talk to us.
490
00:31:55,656 --> 00:32:00,434
And that service that they provide was
just. We didn't ask, we didn't know
491
00:32:00,472 --> 00:32:05,746
about it. This is what we can
offer you. Would you be interested in
492
00:32:05,768 --> 00:32:09,346
it? This is what the benefits are.
And when you have that first session,
493
00:32:09,378 --> 00:32:12,806
you're like, my God, it was worth
it. And you come out and you're
494
00:32:12,828 --> 00:32:19,686
like, everything just lifts and you feel
so much better. Going back to your
495
00:32:19,708 --> 00:32:23,658
question about what see in the future,
I think we've only looked about the
496
00:32:23,664 --> 00:32:26,966
next three, four months ahead. We have
what we're going to do. We shall.
497
00:32:26,998 --> 00:32:28,826
We'll have a little break just to.
498
00:32:28,848 --> 00:32:35,514
Sort of reflect and get organised again.
Like, put the clothes away. We've sort
499
00:32:35,552 --> 00:32:39,166
of set the system now. We've got.
That's not a three months, that's three
500
00:32:39,188 --> 00:32:42,846
to six. It's all labelled in boxes
up in the loft. Ready? Boys on
501
00:32:42,868 --> 00:32:46,018
one side, girls on the other side.
So we've got that balance because the
502
00:32:46,024 --> 00:32:52,558
little boy we've got with us now,
bless him, he's got pink blankets, we've
503
00:32:52,574 --> 00:32:56,674
got toys that are pink and it's
like one of them, isn't it? So
504
00:32:56,712 --> 00:32:59,480
it's sort of getting everything back in
order.
505
00:32:59,850 --> 00:33:03,666
Yeah, we've been lucky because when he
comes to us, because we had girls
506
00:33:03,698 --> 00:33:09,114
and we'd had our own daughter, we
had nothing for boys. So just one
507
00:33:09,152 --> 00:33:13,466
thing we did do, we reached out
to a couple of places, one up
508
00:33:13,488 --> 00:33:20,074
in Crosby, who did packs for newborns.
So I spoke to them and said,
509
00:33:20,112 --> 00:33:25,038
look, we've got some bits, but as
foster carers, we haven't actually had a
510
00:33:25,044 --> 00:33:29,134
lot. And I thought they might turn
around and say, we can't really use
511
00:33:29,172 --> 00:33:34,426
this service because it's not your child.
The lady there was just so supportive
512
00:33:34,458 --> 00:33:37,566
and she said, no, it's amazing. Come
in, I've got this. I've got that
513
00:33:37,588 --> 00:33:40,366
for you. And she was trying to
give me a brand new prom and
514
00:33:40,388 --> 00:33:42,766
Everett and I'm like, it's okay, we've
got that. She's like, no, take it,
515
00:33:42,788 --> 00:33:45,238
take it. And she was just like,
no, you're going to need. You're going
516
00:33:45,244 --> 00:33:48,726
to. When we're done, it's great.
517
00:33:48,748 --> 00:33:52,646
Now, we spoke to them. We've got
a little relationship with them now, so
518
00:33:52,668 --> 00:33:55,926
we'll be passing on things that we
don't need to them as well.
519
00:33:56,028 --> 00:33:58,750
Yeah. You end up with so many
clothes. You end up with a lot
520
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,758
of stuff that doesn't get worn. They're
pretty much like when you have your
521
00:34:00,764 --> 00:34:04,626
own children, because they grow so quick,
you have loads of stuff that doesn't
522
00:34:04,658 --> 00:34:07,606
get worn. You think, I'm going to
give that to someone. Someone is going
523
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,686
to need it. But you meet so
many people like that who are in
524
00:34:10,708 --> 00:34:13,738
need and things like that. It's been
brilliant.
525
00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:17,454
So taking stock over the last couple
of years, obviously, it's been such a
526
00:34:17,492 --> 00:34:23,326
transition, such a new beginning for you
both. How has fostering changed your
527
00:34:23,348 --> 00:34:27,726
lives? If you could just sort of
sum it up, how has it changed
528
00:34:27,758 --> 00:34:31,986
your lives for the better, really? It
seems like the pair of you are
529
00:34:32,008 --> 00:34:35,906
just loving it so much, getting so
much from it. Can you sort of
530
00:34:35,928 --> 00:34:37,380
sum it up for us?
531
00:34:37,690 --> 00:34:42,280
I'd say my personal point of view,
hectic but rewarding. Yeah, definitely.
532
00:34:42,730 --> 00:34:46,146
You've got to expect it'll be full
on as a parent, but it's hectic
533
00:34:46,178 --> 00:34:47,542
and rewarding, I think.
534
00:34:47,596 --> 00:34:52,202
Yeah, I agree. It's a bit of
a whirlwind, but you do fall into
535
00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:57,606
a routine and it is such a
rewarding thing, especially now when we're
536
00:34:57,638 --> 00:35:02,586
transitioning children to new families. I
mean, we're quite friendly with them and
537
00:35:02,608 --> 00:35:06,366
stuff. You meet so many lovely people
and it's just a great thing to
538
00:35:06,388 --> 00:35:08,030
be a part of. It really is.
539
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:10,846
And I would say to anyone who's
interested in fostering, if you want a
540
00:35:10,868 --> 00:35:15,774
big confidence boost, become a foster
carer, have a baby and walk around
541
00:35:15,812 --> 00:35:20,466
Asda, it's unbelievable the amount of
times you get stopped by people who
542
00:35:20,488 --> 00:35:23,938
ask you, oh, I was a child.
And when you tell them they're a
543
00:35:23,944 --> 00:35:28,494
foster child or you're looking after them,
that the looks you get and everyone
544
00:35:28,552 --> 00:35:31,650
wants to praise you, it's a massive
confidence boost.
545
00:35:31,810 --> 00:35:35,446
How do you feel about know, when
you tell people what you do and
546
00:35:35,548 --> 00:35:39,478
what sort of response do you get
and how does it make you mean?
547
00:35:39,564 --> 00:35:43,926
We don't tell everybody. Do mean, we
laugh. I've had the twins and walking
548
00:35:43,958 --> 00:35:49,078
around Asda and people, oh, you look
fantastic. Thank you. I just thought, I'm
549
00:35:49,094 --> 00:35:53,546
not going to tell you take that
compliment. But we don't tell everybody.
550
00:35:53,648 --> 00:35:59,006
But it's if someone says, oh, his
dad looking after you today, or his
551
00:35:59,028 --> 00:36:02,526
mom, and you have to kind of
just correct them a little bit because
552
00:36:02,548 --> 00:36:07,698
you don't want to say, yeah, I'm
dad, or whatever, because it becomes a
553
00:36:07,704 --> 00:36:12,418
spiral then. So you just say, oh,
they're a looked after child and they
554
00:36:12,424 --> 00:36:14,610
might ask, how long have you had
them? All that kind of stuff. But
555
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:18,354
the usual thing is you get the
head tilting sort of thing, and people
556
00:36:18,392 --> 00:36:21,174
then go, it's amazing what you do.
And that's the one thing I'm just.
557
00:36:21,212 --> 00:36:22,742
I don't know how you do it.
It's amazing.
558
00:36:22,876 --> 00:36:23,174
Yeah.
559
00:36:23,212 --> 00:36:28,502
Because a lot of people would maybe
never have thought of fostering or looking
560
00:36:28,556 --> 00:36:32,682
after other people's children,
essentially. Why do you think it is
561
00:36:32,736 --> 00:36:36,220
so important to do? Why is it
so important?
562
00:36:36,750 --> 00:36:42,350
I think from a humanitarian point of
view, without getting too political,
563
00:36:43,970 --> 00:36:50,958
how can you not look after a
child who's in need? In a
564
00:36:50,964 --> 00:36:54,910
perfect world, nobody should have to do
it. But unfortunately, people have issues,
565
00:36:54,980 --> 00:37:00,706
people have things that happen in life,
and children need looking after. And for
566
00:37:00,728 --> 00:37:03,938
this country to have such a big
problem with it, in my point of
567
00:37:03,944 --> 00:37:09,942
view, it's criminal. We shouldn't be in
this point. And it's taken normal people,
568
00:37:09,996 --> 00:37:13,926
average people on the street, to become
foster carers, to try and solve this
569
00:37:13,948 --> 00:37:20,440
problem, to not get too political about
it. There should be more done,
570
00:37:21,290 --> 00:37:26,234
but through the help of people who
want to do it, it's the only
571
00:37:26,272 --> 00:37:29,018
way it's going to get fixed, and
it's the only way children are going
572
00:37:29,024 --> 00:37:33,726
to have a nice life. Unfortunately, some
children only have a nice life and
573
00:37:33,828 --> 00:37:37,866
be in a caring environment, and it's
what every child deserves.
574
00:37:37,978 --> 00:37:38,254
Yeah.
575
00:37:38,292 --> 00:37:43,714
And if anybody watching or listening to
this was thinking about it, what would
576
00:37:43,752 --> 00:37:44,820
you say to them?
577
00:37:45,670 --> 00:37:49,746
I'd say, ask the advice. Don't be
afraid to dip your toes in it
578
00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:55,198
doesn't have to. Just making that little
initial inquiry doesn't mean you're
579
00:37:55,214 --> 00:37:59,446
committed to it. We never felt under
pressure at any point that we had
580
00:37:59,468 --> 00:38:04,086
to follow that through. It was always
explained to us each step of the
581
00:38:04,108 --> 00:38:08,406
way. If we wanted to pull out
at any point, we could. Each part
582
00:38:08,428 --> 00:38:13,018
of the process was detailed to us.
We knew what to expect and we
583
00:38:13,024 --> 00:38:15,722
were never under any pressure. So I
think that's what a lot of people
584
00:38:15,776 --> 00:38:20,106
do. They go, oh, I don't know
how to approach it. Just make that
585
00:38:20,128 --> 00:38:26,494
initial inquiry. Do your research, look
into it. You'll still get your eyes
586
00:38:26,532 --> 00:38:31,406
opened once you start doing it. We're
still learning all the time, but we
587
00:38:31,428 --> 00:38:35,314
do training, as much training as possible.
If there's anything we're unsure of, we
588
00:38:35,352 --> 00:38:40,610
ask. And there's so much support out
there, it's not as scary as what
589
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:45,506
people think. And again, it's just that
it's a rewarding thing to do. And
590
00:38:45,608 --> 00:38:47,766
a lot of people, when they say,
I don't know how you do it,
591
00:38:47,788 --> 00:38:52,614
and I say, I didn't know until
I have done it. And if we
592
00:38:52,652 --> 00:38:57,062
didn't, who else is there to do
it? People need to.
593
00:38:57,196 --> 00:39:02,598
Ultimately, it might not be for someone,
but if it's interesting, just as Jenna
594
00:39:02,614 --> 00:39:07,146
said, ask the advice. Just ask the
right questions, find out as much as
595
00:39:07,168 --> 00:39:13,422
possible, and then make your decision. But
there'd be so many people out there
596
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:19,214
who think they can't do it, but
they'd probably be amazing carers. And
597
00:39:19,252 --> 00:39:23,902
it's just getting those people to just
look at the application at least. And
598
00:39:23,956 --> 00:39:27,910
that's the main thing, because I say
there's so many people out there who've
599
00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:32,274
probably got homes that they can provide
a loving environment in and to help
600
00:39:32,312 --> 00:39:37,714
someone. And it's not even about young
children. It's older children, it's young
601
00:39:37,752 --> 00:39:43,800
mothers with babies. There's such a varied
type of care to go through that
602
00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:47,078
just go and have a look. That's
all to say, go and have a
603
00:39:47,084 --> 00:39:50,134
look and see if it does suit
you. Because the more people that do
604
00:39:50,172 --> 00:39:54,118
it, the better. The better the situation
be in the northwest, the better be
605
00:39:54,204 --> 00:39:58,360
in England, the better be in the
UK, and that's all you can do.
606
00:39:58,890 --> 00:40:03,422
Jenna and Craig, it's been wonderful
speaking to you both. Thank you so
607
00:40:03,476 --> 00:40:04,670
much. Thank you.
608
00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:06,140
Thanks for having us. Thank you.