Linda: A Therapeutic Life Story worker

Coming up on Episode 5 we explore how our past experience impact our lives, and how children in foster care benefit from Therapeutic Life Story work, processing their trauma with the help of a professional like our guest, Linda. 

If you would like to find out more about fostering please visit our website here.

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Transcript

So as everyday people, we don't always have a chance to tell our story to be heard, but everyone's got a story. And this is Linda's. Hello, Linda. 

Linda

Hello. 

Interviewer

Thank you so much for joining us today, Linda. 

Linda

You're welcome, Helen.

Interviewer

So firstly, your job title sounds fabulous. You are a therapeutic life story worker, that's right, isn't it? 

Linda

I am, yes. 

Interviewer

Um, but there’s certain life experiences that led you to that job, so tell us about that and then about what a therapeutic life story worker is.

Linda

Okay. So, um, when I had my own child, I was… I went back to university when she was a toddler. Um, she was diagnosed with dyspraxia. And that affected her learning, her speech, her development, and she was really struggling and behind at school. So, while I was doing my own studies, I went into her school to volunteer, to help and learn the strategies they were using in school to use at home. And I did that for a few years. And after I left university, I didn't want to be a teacher or a social worker, but I wanted to work with children. And that experience helped me to get a job in a high school working with disadvantaged and looked after children.

Interviewer

Yeah. So, therapeutic life story work then, what is that? 

Linda

Ah, so that was a long time in the making, gaining experience, working with children, understanding, I, you know, initially, I thought education was the best option for children, to give them choices when they were older, to have positive outcomes. But I soon came to realise that trauma was a massive barrier. And working through trauma and understanding the trauma and helping others understand the trauma that they'd experienced was the best way to help them and to help them make positive choices.

Interviewer

Yeah, because I think, in education it's very much about your future, isn't it? About building for your future, what you're going to learn, so what you can do with that in the future. But actually, it's very important to look at our past, isn't it?

Linda

Very.

Interviewer

The things that have happened to us and how they affect our present. 

Linda

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Interviewer 

So, tell us about that. Why working with traumatic experiences is so important.

Linda

So, understanding what's happened in the past… a lot of our children carry around a lot of blame and shame and, and don't often understand, you know, what's happened to them, um, why they've ended up, being… living with foster carers. And that causes lots of confusion and that then comes out in behaviour. Behaviour is communication. Um, and quite often they don't remember a lot of things that have happened. 

But, you know, that brain development in the first two to five years is so important. And if there's been lots of chaos and lots of… if there's been abuse and neglect, then the brain, the way the brain is formed, has been interrupted and, you know, changed and they have certain behaviour traits and, you know… So it is about helping them to understand that it's helping the foster carers or the other professionals around to understand everything that they've been through.

Um, I… it starts with me, getting lots of… it's called the information bank. So, the model that I follow is Richard Rose's Therapeutic Life Story Work. Um, so I'll start with the information bank and I'll visit schools, previous foster carers that they've lived with, birth family, any significant people that have been involved in that person's… in that child's life. I'll try and contact and build up a full story.

Because our, all our lives are made up of stories from different people. When you talk about your past, you'll ask your sisters and your brothers and your grandma, and, you know, and, and sometimes our children don't have that. Sometimes they're not in touch with family members, or even if they are, it's six times a year and there's not much time to think about the past in those visits. 

So I'll get to meet them and get their stories and their backgrounds. Because, quite often, what's happened to them is, you know, a direct link to how these, the children, you know, how they parented and how the children ended up being taken away from them.

Interviewer

Yeah. And what sort of impact does this have on children, then? What sort of positive, um, sort of journeys do you see them go on?

Linda

With the life story work?

Interviewer

With the work.

Linda

So, it's a long piece of work. It's a 9-12 month piece of work. 

Interviewer 

Wow.

Linda

Um, yeah. And they, um, they meet and we include… the really good thing about, the difference between therapeutic life story work and the old-fashioned life story work is that the primary carer… the adoptive parent, if it's with somebody that's been adopted, or the primary foster carer… is involved in the sessions from the start, they're involved in the planning and they're involved in this, the diary work as well.

So we sit down, the three of us with a roll of wallpaper, Richard Rose calls that like, um, relates to that as like the ‘bio tapestry’. So each session is recorded on the roll of wallpaper. Um, and we talk about, you know, first of all, we build relationships through play. Play lots of games. We talk about feelings 

Interviewer

mm-hmm. <affirmative>. 

Linda

And then they will tell me their story from their memory, and we'll write all that down. Um, and then as they're comfortable with me and they're comfortable with the routine, we'll then start… I'll then start to narrate the information from the information banks. And, interspersed in that is lots of education around domestic violence, around drug and alcohol use. 

So while I'm doing the education around it, we then bring in, like, maybe, their parents' past and how they come to be under the influence of drugs and alcohol, or why they've struggled with relationships, um, through their mental health because they didn't have great relationships and… with their parents.

Interviewer

Yeah. 

Linda

So, it all starts to build a picture and fall into place for them. The young people that I've worked with, they, um, two of them, especially one of them is about to go off to university and he's, he's… he wasn't seeing his birth family, but he is now in touch with his birth family and he's doing extremely, extremely well with that and managing that really well. Um, you know, it's had great outcomes so far. And it's recently - the Rose model of therapeutic life story work - has recently been evidence-based by a university in Australia.

Interviewer

Wow. 

Linda

Um, so there's been a pilot scheme. It's been looked at and researched and it's been proved that it does work. It really does work. 

Interviewer

So, it's just sort of like being able to take everything sort of out of your head. 

Linda

Yeah. 

Interviewer

Put it all down and just sort of understand it.

Linda

Externalise the past and internalise understanding. 

Interviewer

And that's just so therapeutic, isn't it? 

Linda

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. At the end of the nine months direct work, we will then… I will go away then and they know I'm going to write their book and I call them editor in chief. So I'll write a life story, But not like you've seen with pictures of where they lived and things. It's usually what they've agreed we can include from the wallpaper, what they've agreed we can include from the information and the conversations we've talked about. So it consolidates all that work really. And it, you know… and then they edit it, they want, if they want to make any changes. So that's a really good way of bringing it all together at the end. And if they want, they can share that then with other people and professionals.

Interviewer

So this work with children, young people that you do, you know, sounds amazing. And it sounds like most people, or children or young people will come into it and, you know, be really keen and, and want to make progress. Does that always happen? 

Linda

No. No, no. It's not right for everybody.

Interviewer

So what happens when somebody maybe doesn't want to engage? What do you do? 

Linda

Well, there's lots of ways we can still help. By building the… um, gathering all the information in the information bank, it's helped, um, with one young person's diagnosis of autism. Um, it's helped professionals around him to have a snapshot view of what has happened in his past. Because social workers don't have the time to, to read, you know, there’s changes in social workers and they don't have the time or, um, to read everything, every bit of information. If I can collate all that together and form a chronology of events, that's really helpful.

We can use therapeutic stories. So, I will, if the young people are not wanting to engage in the direct work, we can still use the information and talk to the carers to develop a storybook for them. It's about them, but using a character of their choice. So, it's not, you know, it doesn't seem… you know, that takes away that the pain of seeing them in the middle of those situations. But it helps with their understanding around it. 

Interviewer

Okay. So, you work with a child for, as you say, nine to 12 months, is it?

Linda

mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Interviewer

And maybe that child is in a foster placement at that time. What sort of positive impact does that have on the, you know, the fostering family and the foster carers really from their perspective, you know, how does it help? What difference do they see? 

Linda

Well, they see…  a lot more settled… settled at home. It improves relationships. You know, we do the direct work with families that are in a settled placement because then the child, when they're hearing all this information needs to, you know, needs to have a secure base because it's difficult things, it’s difficult stuff that they're working through. So it's already, you know, a good relationship. But, I can't tell you how much the relationships improve even further from doing the work. Um, you know, it helps, it helps a foster carer’s understanding, you know. One foster carer said in a session ‘but I treat you like I've treated our son’. And the young person was able to say ‘but it's not the same’. And for the foster carer to understand that, with no judgment, with no shame, just with love and nurture, you know. And to talk about these relationships is really important.

And also, you know, at 15 and 16, playing Jenga and Uno, you know.. uh, just going back to the play as well, introducing play and joy back into, you know, a shared sense of joy back into the lives. It's just, it's really valuable.

Interviewer

So we've been talking a lot about fostering communities, basically the support that a foster carer has all around them. You are part of that really, aren't you? 

Linda

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, 

Interviewer

You are part of that support. So, you know, how does it feel to do that, to…

Linda

Oh, it's such a privilege. 

Interviewer

Yeah.

Linda

It's such a privilege and, you know, um, doing… working as a therapeutic life story worker within a fostering agency, I feel even more privileged because I get to see the journey progress. I don't just walk away as an independent and not know how the work has affected the young people. I see it, you know, I speak to the foster carers ongoing and I see that work and it is just great. And then we get to network. So if, you know, if another family is referred and they're a little bit unsure, the family that have already experienced the work can then be mentors and talk, you know, talk to them. So it's a real great family kind of community. 

Interviewer

Yeah, that's the community, isn't it? Everybody supporting and helping each other. 

Linda

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. 

Interviewer

So we've talked a lot about, you know, obviously your work with children and young people, particularly in foster care, but can this work be done with adults?

Linda

Absolutely. The next phase of therapeutic life story work is focused on adults. I'm about to do a course. Um, I've had adults that have approached me and asked me to do life story work with them, you know. When I've had one foster carer tell me it was like therapy for her as well. 

Interviewer

Yeah. 

Linda

Because, you know, the difficulty for my part is, you know, working one-to-one with a child is really easy. But when you have to include another person, that person's experiences, their personality and, you know, experiences of trauma in their past also comes into play. So you get to know that and work with that as well.

Interviewer

Yeah. And, we use the word trauma and sometimes your mind jumps to, you know, big terrible, obvious things that have happened to people, but actually it can come in all shapes and sizes, can't it? 

Linda

Yeah. 

Interviewer

And it can be things that maybe have happened in your past that you've never really given any attention to. Maybe you've minimised them, maybe you don't think that they're that significant. You know? Do you find that, that people realise that experiences that they've had are more significant than they thought they were?

Linda

Oh absolutely. Doing this work has made me really conscious of my own journey, you know, my own past with, uh, traumas. You know, you can be in year six, the end of primary school, and turn up to a, you know… to be on the stage to a play that you've practiced for. And you see all the parents there, and you freeze. And that feeling of dread, you know, will stay with you. And it might not come and resurface until you walk into a university lecture hall and you see all those people again, you know. Or you are about to make a presentation. When I went to university, the first time I had to do a presentation was just nerve-wracking. I hadn't realised how much it would affect me, you know, and it almost stopped me from continuing. So yeah, it's really important to have awareness.

Interviewer

Yeah. So how did you deal with that? Did you do some sort of work yourself to sort of, you know, to work through it?

Linda

Yeah, I had really good people around me, a good mentor at university that I could speak to and talk to about it. And he just, you know, gave me lots of support and, um, journaling helped as well. Journaling has always been a good thing for me to do and, and lots of walking and relaxation and not to rush… and don't turn up late! <laugh>. Uh, and the breathing exercises. So all this I do talk about with carers when I'm doing the work.

You know to relate my experiences and then, you know, so that's how conversations develop and they gain trust and yeah. 

Interviewer

Yeah. So, we can't underestimate the power really of, sort of, you know, taking things out of your brain, whether it's journaling, whether it's, you know, talking to a counsellor, whether it's doing your therapeutic life story work, just getting it all out and looking at it and understanding it, isn't it? 

Linda

Oh yeah. And the power of doing that with foster carers during the session as well. You know, obviously they're not going to talk about, you know, extreme traumas when they're sat down with a child. But when they're talking about their past experiences and how it's affected them, you know, sharing that and writing out on the wallpaper and, you know, stuff. We do an activity called the behaviour tree, which is well known in substance support, substance abuse… for recovery. But, in with dealing with trauma, we write down behaviours - positive and negative behaviours on the leaves on the trees, and then we draw the roots and we draw, you know, the things that have happened - the past experiences, again, positive and negative. And then we connect the roots to the trees.

And then you can see how, you know… and that's how you raise awareness of these behaviours. Because the foster carer… The children always come up with the most negative behaviours. It's the foster carers that remind them of some of the positive behaviours as well. Um, and we talk about what's helpful and what's not helpful, you know - why some of those behaviours have formed because of… to cope with some of the traumas that have happened before. And the same with the carers. They can do that for themselves as well. And when we do it side by side, it's really powerful.

Interviewer

Yeah. And, and some of these, these traumas that we experience as children sometimes can be things that we don't even remember, can't they? Because the brain sort of absorbs… is it, what age is it that your, your brain sort of absorbs the most? And you don't even really realise it. 

Linda

Yeah, when you’re younger, I mean from nought to two, you know, your brain is developing at the fastest pace and you're taking on all the environment, your template for relationships. And, although you don't have those memories, if it's being chaotic, if it's been abusive, if your experience has been neglectful, then the body will remember, you know - the body keeps the score. You know, the famous book. 

Interviewer

Yeah. 

Linda

So, behaviours… sometimes we don't understand where certain behaviours, you know, aggression or, kind of trauma based responses, we don't know where they've come from. 

Interviewer

mm-hmm. <affirmative>. 

Linda

But when we look at brain development and I do brain development with the children as well. I show them how that can affect… how their experiences can affect their brain development. And that's always quite sad. But then what we focus on, because we talk about the fight, flight and freeze - the limbic part of the brain. I may explain that when they're in a stressful situation, they will act automatically because of those memories that, you know, because of those experiences that they don't always remember. But, the brain does and the body does. 

Um, so then we talk about the superpower, which is, um, neuroplasticity. So the synapses can go on developing and making changes right up until death. So, you know, we can change some of these habits once we have awareness, once we know. That's why it's really important to talk about the past and experiences. 

But I have to say that, although I find out all the information so that I have a clear understanding, and sometimes we do say everything that's happened if we think that the child's capable of know of understanding and holding that information. But, we only tell them what they need to know. 

Interviewer

Yeah. 

Linda

What would be helpful to know, what would be helpful to understand. 

Interviewer

Yeah. Wow. It's so fascinating, isn't it, that I think sometimes we just don't really think about… how our past really affects our present and then in turn our future. Really, doesn't it? 

Linda

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Understanding the past helps you think positively about the future. And towards the end of the sessions, that's what we do focus on, is the future. And, you know, we do exercises where we look at, you know, what they think about what they want to achieve in the future. And we identify who can help, what they can do, how other people can help. And that's a really important exercise, you know, as you're coming towards the end for them to feel hopeful and positive. 

Interviewer

Yeah. So you can tell, Linda, you are so passionate about this. Like, can you ever imagine yourself doing anything different? Or is this your life's work? 

Linda

No, no. I do lots of different things where I work at Alpha Plus fostering, you know, but this is the thing that I'm most passionate about. Um, yeah.

Interviewer

And what is it that inspires you to keep going with this work? Because I imagine it's quite challenging at times. 

Linda

It is quite challenging. You know, there's lots of difficult information that you come across and you have to talk about. But, just when you have a breakthrough, when I've talked with a young person about domestic violence and I talk about the situation, you know, the power and control struggle within that. And I see the relationship, I see the understanding he now has with his mum about his mum and the comfort that that's brought to him. You know, that is worth, you know… I can't put that into words, what that is worth. And when I see them then going on to have positive outcomes, and just enjoy life. Yeah.

Interviewer

Thank you so much for talking to us today, Linda. You're so inspiring. 

Linda

Thank you. 

Interviewer

Thank you. And if you've been inspired by Linda and you want to find out more about fostering in general, please do go to our website, nfa.co.uk.